


Transform Me

by Prince_Charmont



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Canon Rewrite, Clubbing, Drunk Jace, F/M, Idris - Freeform, M/M, Malec, Rune Magic, Seduction, Sexual Tension, Shadowhunter Training, Sizzy - Freeform, Teen Angst, Training, city of bones - Freeform, clace, clary and jace dirty dancing, clary fights demons early on, clary kicking ass, clary pov, clary uses runes early on, early encounter with valentine, early reconciliation with luke, fairy juice, fairy magic, flirty banter, hodge lives, incubus demon, jace being a jerk, magnus and alec messing with jace, tipsy clary, truth telling serum
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-18
Updated: 2015-11-18
Packaged: 2018-04-27 01:10:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 38,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5027911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prince_Charmont/pseuds/Prince_Charmont
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clary's world has been turned upside down. Her mom is gone, Luke has betrayed her, she's being forced to stay in a creepy old building with a bunch of people she doesn't know & last but certainly not least, she isn't who she thought she was. Though everything is different & overwhelming, she's tired of sitting around doing nothing, so she lets Jace train her. Sexual tension galore!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Session One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The training begins.

**A/N:** City of Bones rewrite starting after Magnus's party, but the Clace greenhouse kiss scene doesn't happen and Simon's gone home so his mother doesn't worry about him. Clary hasn't yet figured out where the Cup is yet, so everyone's just kind of milling about, waiting for something to happen. Mostly Clary POV. Will keep most of the original plot points from CoB, but prob just rework them.

* * *

I'm in the Institute library. It's about ten in the morning. I think it's Saturday, but all of the days have been blurring together. I'm not sure where everyone else is, but I don't mind. Everything has been so crazy lately, it's nice to have some time to myself.

My mind wanders to Simon for a moment. I wonder how he's doing. A part of me wants nothing more than to just run away with him and forget about everything else. I want to just ignore it all, pretend nothing's changed, that nothing's happened, but I know I can't. Everything is different now,  _I'm_  different now, and all I can do is accept that and move forward.

It's so funny, though, 'cause if you'd asked me just last week if I believed in angels and demons, I would have laughed right in your face. And now… now I find out that not only do demons exist, but _I_ have angel blood coursing through _my_ veins?? I can't even wrap my brain around it! My whole world has been turned upside down, and I'm trying my best to adjust. It sure as hell isn't easy.

I'm trying not to think about my mom… or Luke… or the fact that I feel so alone. I know I still have Simon, but I'm also acutely aware of the fact that he doesn't belong in this new world I've been thrust into, and I know that he's aware of that, too. I can tell that he's nervous about me getting hurt, uncomfortable about me staying in the Institute with all these strange people we just met, and a bit jealous about me being a Shadowhunter. Simon's always wanted magic and stuff to be real, and now that he knows it is, I'm sure he can't help but feel a bit left out about not getting to be a part of it all. I wish more than anything that he were a Shadowhunter, too, and that we could be going through all of this together.

As I'm walking around the beautiful old library, I breathe in the smell of dusty old leather-bound tomes that's hanging heavily in the air. It reminds me of Luke's shop, which gives me a pang in the heart to think of, but the books here are older smelling, and I focus on that to distract me.

I run my fingers over the large volumes of Shadowhunter history, relishing the feel of the aged bindings. My hand stops on an especially worn spine and I struggle to wrest it free from its brothers. Just as I crack it open and begin flipping through the ancient pages, I nearly jump a foot in the air when I hear what sounds like someone clearing their throat only a foot or so behind me. I whirl around, almost dropping the huge book and find Jace sitting casually on the loveseat nearest to me, his white v-neck t-shirt snugly spread across his sculpted arms and chest.

"Jace!" I gasp in surprise before I can stop myself. A crooked smirk flashes across his face. He's clearly pleased at having startled me.

"Well, look at you being all _studious_." He stands and in two large strides is towering over me, his body only inches from mine. He drops his voice and practically whispers in a low, throaty voice, "Shall I test you?"

His golden eyes bore into mine and I gulp painfully. I'm so taken aback that I hardly notice the book sliding slowly from my fingers into his. I feel paralyzed, transfixed to where I stand, overwhelmed by the heat emanating from his body and his earthy scent wafting over me. My mind is so blank that I don't even register his words until it's too late.

Jace straightens upright as he flips open the musty tome and pages through it decisively. His eyes flick back up to mine and his expression is challenging and amused. I feel the blood drain from my face when I realize that he's surely about to ask me something I have no clue about and make me feel really stupid for not knowing the answer. I brace myself.

To my surprise (and immense relief), he slams the book shut and leans about as close to me as humanly possible without us touching. I feel my entire body flush and my eyes widen, completely bewildered and confused as to what he's doing when I realize that his left arm, the one with the book in its hand, is outstretched toward the bookshelf.

_Oh. He's just putting the book away. Jeez, was that really necessary? What a jerk._

Jace smiles smugly down at me when my eyes move to the floor, my weight shifting awkwardly. I can feel him eating up my discomfort. He abruptly leans backward again and turns around to leave. He grabs me by the wrist and practically drags me out of the library behind him.

When we're about halfway down the corridor, I wriggle my hand free from his and am about to pointedly ask him what he's doing when he turns around and preemptively answers my question.

"I figured a better use of time would be to begin your training." When he sees me still looking perplexed, he adds, "Don't go repeating this to Hodge, but I personally find that preparing for battle is much more useful than learning all about the first Shadowhunters and how they spent their time, which, granted, is impressive. They're probably pretty disappointed in their descendants for having dropped the ball so hard. Well, except for me, of course. I'm clearly the most amazing Shadowhunter to have existed since them."

Sometimes I have a really tough time figuring out whether or not Jace is being serious when he says things like that. He certainly acts as if he's God's gift to man, though, I guess, if you think about it, Shadowhunters technically are God's gift to man, but you know what I mean. I wish I were better at thinking of snarky comebacks in the moment. He's just so good at catching me off guard. I'm typically better at thinking on my feet when I'm comfortable, like when I'm with Simon. Jace is just so intense. I can't imagine ever being at ease around him.

"Fine. Whatever. Let's go." I shove past him in an attempt to seem unfazed. I've decided that when I can't think of a witty retort, I'll just ignore him. That should piss him off.

It seems to work. He catches my shoulder and spins me towards him.

"Not so fast, Red." His eyes move up and down my body slowly, causing me to feel very self-conscious and he makes a face. "Sorry, but you can't wear that."

"What, are you the fashion police now?"

"If I were, you can bet your sorry ass I'd have your hands behind your back by now." He grins deviously.

I feel myself get flustered again.  _Oh, relax! He just means he'd cuff you. Though that could still be suggestive, especially the way he says it… Gah! Just shut up already, Clary!_

"Then what? Not black enough for your Shadowhunter sensibilities?"

"Wrong again, Red." He tugs idly at my sweater. I resist the urge to pull away. "Change into proper exercise attire or you'll be sorry."

I drop my sassily defiant demeanor and bite my lip with worry.

"I don't-"

"Ugh." He mockingly rolls his eyes and starts back down the hallway. "Do I have to do _everything_ for you? You're like a helpless little child. Much needier than any pet I've ever encountered."

"Oh, shut up." I snap, following him. "I guess I must have missed the guided "Shadowhunting Institute of New York Tour" in all the commotion of late. Glad you've taken pity upon me and agreed to catch me up. Anything else I should know, aside from, you know, _everything_?"

"Eh, just stick with me, kiddo, and you'll be fine." He turns his head and winks at me.

I just roll my eyes, though I don't think he notices.

After Jace garners some clothes from Isabelle for me to borrow, he insists on following me into my room while I change in the bathroom. He eyes my unmade bed with a raised brow and I can tell he's judging me harshly. I try to ignore him.  _Why should I care what he thinks?_

He takes a seat by the window and shouts insouciantly at me through the door while I'm changing.

"First, we'll start with some warm up exercises, then we'll do some cardio and strength training, mild sparring and grappling, and finally some cool down exercises. All in all, it should take no more than three hours tops."

"Three hours?!" I shriek, almost ripping the minuscule gray rib-tee I'm trying to squeeze into. I'm starting to think Isabelle got confused and lent me her childhood pajamas instead of exercise clothes seeing as how more of my skin is left exposed than covered.

I open the door, still fretting over the fact that I've never worked out for more than half an hour at a time, let alone pushed myself as much as I'm sure I will have to when training with "Mr. Shadowhunter of the Year" himself. Jace looks like he was about to reply to my distress with contented enthusiasm, but his face freezes when he sees me. He's looking at me like he's never seen me before. My embarrassment level shoots up exponentially.

"This is ridiculous. I think she got mixed up and gave me a little girl's PJs. Somewhere... out there, a tiny bemused child is frantically wondering what she's going to wear to bed." I tug pointlessly at the black booty shorts, unsure as to whether or not I'm glad I have no butt right now.

Jace quickly recovers himself, but looks away as he abruptly stands. "Well, I guess it'll do for now." He strides briskly towards the door and barks at me to follow him without looking back.

Not caring if Jace will object, I snatch the blue hoodie carelessly sprawled across my bed and tug it hastily over the skin-tight tank top in an attempt to regain some modicum of my former modesty. I mentally curse Isabelle for doing this to me. As if things aren't awkward enough between Jace and me as it is. Now this? Great. Juuuust great.

I trudge behind him in silence, not looking up from my feet, which I later regret when I collide headlong into him. He's stopped in front of the door to the training room, probably waiting for me to catch up. Even if his legs weren't a billion times longer than my midget ones, his pace is far too quick for my tastes. I suppose I'll have to learn to be faster if I want to be a Shadowhunter. I bet there's a rune for that.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk." Jace patronizingly shakes his head down at me like a disappointed parent as he grabs me by the shoulders to steady me. He puts a finger under my chin and raises my head so that our eyes meet. "First rule of Shadowhunting:  _always_ be aware of your surroundings."

I shove him away from me with a glare and he laughs.

"Seriously, Fray, you'd better get your head in the game if you ever hope to shake your _mundanity_. You reek of it so bad, even a deaf blind person could tell."

"What does that even mean?" I scowl as I follow him into the dimly lit room. It smells of sweat and metal. I'm reminded of gym class and suddenly feel my stomach do a flip. I hate gym class.

"It means listen up. From this day forward, you're going to be my Galatea. You'll be kissing my feet after I've transformed you. I'm the best trainer around. You won't even recognize yourself when we're done." Jace flips a switch and a succession of ceiling lights flicker on. The room is a lot bigger than I expected.

Rows upon rows of gear, equipment, training dummies, and weapons line the room. There are mats covering a third of the room, and the rest has a bare hardwood floor covered in innumerable scuff marks. It looks as though the matted bit of the room is for exercising/working out and the rest for sparring.

Just as I expected, Jace forces me to shed my sweatshirt. At first, I can't stop thinking about how naked I feel in front of him, but when we start training, I'm actually grateful for the minimal coverage because of how hot I'm getting. Though everything we're doing must be child's play to Jace, the room is growing warmer due to my energy expenditure, and eventually he takes off his shirt, too. It makes me feel a bit better about my outfit (or lack thereof) despite the fact that I feel like my body temperature has further increased just from seeing his bare chest. I look away and we get started.

I have to admit… Jace really _is_ a great trainer. He pushes me enough without making me feel incapable, he encourages me and motivates me instead of criticizing and teasing me, he makes me feel relaxed and focused instead of self-conscious and embarrassed, and he paces everything we do really well so that I don't feel overwhelmed or exhausted. He's great at changing things up and explaining why the exercises are important and what areas they help strengthen. He talks about the application of the techniques he's teaching me in battle, which inspires me and distracts me from the pain of my exertion. This Jace is actually pretty tolerable to be around.  _Why can't he be like this more often?_

What amazes me most, though, is the fact that as time goes by, my energy levels actually seem to be increasing. I'm getting excited and feel enthusiastic to continue. I would have thought I'd be so out of shape from never exercising that I'd have crapped out before the first hour ended. Instead, halfway through the second hour, both our bodies slick with sweat, I'm picking up the pace, which seems to thoroughly please my blonde-haired trainer. When I mention how surprised I am at this fact, he just smiles knowingly and says,

"Proof you have Shadowhunter blood in you. We live to fight. If you watch Isabelle, Alec, any Shadowhunter, for that matter, they never look more alive than when they're in battle. It's _why_ we exist. What we were _made_ for."

It rings true and makes perfect sense to me. I'm making rapid progress and he's already teaching me various grappling techniques. Everything he shows me feels familiar, as though I somehow already know it all, but have just forgotten. Within a short period of time, I'm able to start pinning him down, though I know he's letting me do it just for the practice.

It seems he's decided that I've gotten good enough to start being harder on so we begin to wrestle more roughly over the mats. I'm sure he's barely exerting himself, but I start to really push myself, using all the strength I have. I call upon all the maneuvers he's shown me and even some he hasn't yet but that I saw him do when he was fighting. When I use one of the latter, it throws him off and I manage to land squarely on top of him, pinning his arms by his sides, my sweaty legs wrapped around his. We pant heavily at each other.  _Wait, why is HE panting?_

For a second, it looks as though his eyes darken, and when I let myself relax, his arms and legs slither out from under mine and entwine around my body as he rolls us over so that he's now on top and I'm trapped underneath. His grip on me is tighter and closer than mine was on him, and his hair is ever so lightly tickling my forehead. I can't look him in the eyes; somehow the position just seems too intimate, even though I know it's just a fighting maneuver. I'm looking down at his Marked chest, watching the sweat glint off of the black runes. I inadvertently lick my lips and I notice how dry my mouth feels.

Jace isn't moving. He's just leaning over me, our torsos inches from touching. My breath is shallow and I'm afraid I'm going to run out of air. I finally force myself to look up at him and I swear he's starting to move his face down towards mine but an amused sounding voice comes from the doorway and interrupts his movement.

"Oh... S _orry_... I didn't know the room was, uh...  _occupied.._." Isabelle is leaning against the doorframe, smiling. "I'll just come back later then, shall I?" Jace topples off of me and tries to smoothly recover himself. His look of casual indifference is more forced than usual.

"No, it's fine. We're done here anyway. She did well. Didn't break anything, at least." He's standing now and has moved towards one of the shelves on the wall. He grabs a towel and wipes himself down before shrugging his shirt back on.

"Go get cleaned up. We'll continue training tomorrow." And without so much as a glance back at Isabelle or me, he exits the room.

I slowly, painfully sit up on the mat. A surge of emotions floods my chest and the familiar phrase of,  _'God, what a jerk,'_ enters my head again. Isabelle must be able to read my mind because she crosses the room and holds out a hand to help me to my feet, saying,

"Don't mind him. That's his way of saying you did really well." I mumble a sheepish thanks to her as I follow Jace's lead and also towel off. Isabelle smirks slyly at me as I make my way to the door.

"That full body ground lock is a real doozy, huh?"

"What?" I turn to look at her, furrowing my brow.

"I just mean… he must have gotten you pretty good that last time. You guys were so close together on the floor you were practically kissing."

"What?!" I repeat, this time with more volume than I'd intended. I quickly check myself and struggle to maintain an even tone. "We weren't- I mean, we weren't  _that_ close. Besides, had you not walked in, I probably would have gotten away from him easily."

"Riiiight…" She says, obviously unconvinced of something, her smirk spreading, but she doesn't say anything else. I gladly take the opportunity to hurry back to my room. What a day this is turning out to be!

* * *

As I shut the door behind me and lean up against it, trying to catch my breath, I replay the events of the training room in my head. I feel warm all over but can't tell if it's from exercising or something else. Regardless of why I feel so hot, I decide that a nice cold shower is in order.

_Why, oh, why does everything have to be so intense all the time? Can't a girl catch a break every now and then?_

As I step into the tub, letting the cool water splash over me, I resolve to avoid Jace for the rest of the day. I need a little time to recuperate from all that… _training_ … A nice cup of tea, my sketchbook, and maybe even going up to the greenhouse if Hodge isn't there sounds just perfect. I make a mental note to call Simon later.

It suddenly strikes me that I didn't even think about him once while we were training. In fact, I didn't think about  _anything_  that's been bothering me lately. Aside from the confusing emotional turbulence training with Jace causes, I realize that I really enjoy it. I'd be more excited for the next session if Jace weren't the one training me. Ugh, he has a way of making things so complicated. I wish he could just be normal for once.  _God! Why am I always thinking about him?!_  Yes, getting some distance from him is definitely the right thing to do.

I've finished dressing and am heading towards the door when I decide to give Simon a ring while I remember. I'm lying on my bed, phone in hand, but my fingers never press call.

* * *

I must have passed out because when I open my eyes, it's dark. Guess the training took more out of me than I thought.

Forgetting all about Simon and my phone again, I remember the date with myself I'd made and am heading towards the door with my sketchbook in hand when a knock sounds.

 _What now?_ I can't help thinking. All I want is some alone time.

When I open the door, guess who's standing there. Jace, of course.

"We have a problem," is all he says and from the look on his face, I know that tea and sketching is definitely not going to be on the agenda today. Le sigh.


	2. Session One Applied

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clary applies some of the training she received.

**A/N** : Wahhh! Thanks so much for the reviews, guys! Means a lot. I'm glad you guys are appreciating my take on everything. I'm kinda writing it how I wanted the book to go. I felt like everything was sorta rushed & the relationship between Jace & Clary was underdeveloped. I wanted to know how she was feeling inside not just about him, but about everything that was going on. It also didn't make sense that she didn't want to be more prepared for everything that was happening, so I felt like she would have wanted to train & learn as much as she could about who she really was & what she could accomplish if she wanted to try. Plus, it would give her an advantage to finding her mom & understanding what was going on. So yeah, that's just kinda why I'm doing it this way. Really happy you guys are digging it! :D

* * *

I sigh. "Just a sec." I turn to put my sketchpad away, but Jace grabs me by the arm to stop me.

"There's no time. We've gotta move quick. I'll fill you in on the way."

As we're racing down the hall towards the library, Jace hurriedly explains that Isabelle has gone missing. Apparently she told Alec she was going for a walk because she's going stir-crazy being cooped up in the Institute waiting for a lead. Shadowhunters are action-oriented, especially the violent kind of action.

"That was five hours ago. Alec's tried to reach her with fire messages, but there's been no response."

Isabelle, while impulsive at times, never does anything so rash as to not at least check in from time to time. That's more Jace's thing. Unlike Alec & Isabelle, Jace apparently forgets that he's not invincible with some frequency. Most Shadowhunters are extra cautious, fully aware of the dangers the world holds for them, especially when wandering the streets alone at night. They're walking targets for demons and the occasional rogue Downworlder. Like Alec said, though, at times, it almost seems as if Jace has a death-wish.

However, despite Jace's disregard for his own wellbeing, his family's safety is obviously the most important thing in the world to him and it takes priority over anything and everything else. I actually prefer deadly, serious Jace because it means he's less likely to torment me, though I'm of course never a fan of seeing people in distress. I'm too sensitive to other people's emotions.

"So what's the plan?" I ask, struggling to keep pace with him.

"We're working on it." He replies simply as he throws the doors to the library open. Hodge and Alec are already there, with Hugo perched nearby. Even Church is sitting stuffily on the arm of the dark sofa looking tense. No one can say the black-haired beauty isn't loved.

Alec's pacing frantically, while Hodge is watching him with a concerned albeit tired look on his face. Jace barrels in and immediately suggests we gear up and go out to look for her. Alec rounds on him.

"But where, Jace? Where do we start? She could be anywhere."

"We go underground. If anything bad has happened, surely someone will have gotten wind of it down there. The kidnapping of a Shadowhunter isn't exactly small news."

"Let's not jump to conclusions, though. We don't even know she's been kidnapped." Hodge cuts in, stepping forward gently.

"What else could have happened? Isabelle's not exactly incapable; even on her own she can take on far more opponents than I can. Plus, she's never been out for so long without at least checking in once." Alec's wringing his hands now; I've never seen him so agitated before. I suppose he and his sister are closer than I thought.

"I still think that hitting the subterranean scene is our best bet. It sure beats sitting around here wracking our brains for some alternative solution that's not going to come." Jace is next to Alec now, looking at him like he knows he just needs a little push and he'll be game. Alec's usually pretty hesitant to go looking for trouble, but his love for his sister will probably trump his fears. Hodge is the only one who looks unconvinced.

"I just don't want you two doing anything reckless. Besides, if you both go, who will be here to look after Clary? I have a meeting I have to attend soon, so I won't be able to stay with her." A shifty look crosses Hodge's face for a split second, but no one else seems to notice. I wonder if I'm just imagining things.

"She'll come with us. I've already given her some training, and she's a fast learner. Though we'll have to keep an eye on her, I doubt anything too bad will happen to her."

"Thanks, Jace." I say, not making an effort to conceal my sarcasm. "I'm glad to know my safety is just as important to you as Isabelle's."

Before he can respond, Alec interjects, "No. No way. Definitely not. She'll just be a liability and slow us down. I don't care what you think she's capable of. One training session a warrior does not make. We're going to go straight into enemy territory. We won't be protected by the Accords down there and we'll be sitting ducks if we make just one false move. We have to be fully alert and attentive to make it out alive, what to speak of rescuing Isabelle."

"It still may not be the case that Isabelle needs rescuing-" Hodge begins, but Alec's anger silences him.

" **Hodge!** I  _know_  my sister. Stop _saying_ that! Something bad has happened and I have to go find her." Immediately Alec's face becomes the picture of remorse as he realizes he just yelled at his mentor and dear friend. He sheepishly turns back to Jace, but his voice is firm and resolute when he addresses him.

"Let's go."

Jace is next to me again, fixed in a steadfast posture.

"She comes."

Alec rolls his eyes and huffs as he turns and heads out of the room.

"She's your charge. If she dies, it's on you."

I gulp.  _Great_.  _Greaty great great_.

* * *

After we're all geared up and in the elevator, Jace draws a Mendelin rune on my arm after he finishes marking himself. Jace gives me a few other temporary Marks, but not nearly as many as he gave himself. Alec's lips are pursed in disapproval. It's not advised to give so many first Marks to someone at the same time, but I seem to be handling them pretty well.

We finish the descent in tense silence and I'm overtly conscious of the strange leatherish clothing tight against my body. It's my first time wearing gear and carrying weapons, and they feel slightly heavy around me. I'm worried they'll slow me down _even more_ when I remember that Jace gave me a rune for speed. Hopefully it'll help me not fall _too_ far behind them.

As we reach the ground floor, my heart rate picks up speed. I've never been a part of a fight before, much less an all out raid. I'm really not sure I'm ready. Jace seems to believe in me, though the fact that he's been known to be impetuous from time to time by no means reassures me. Without even thinking, I'm praying to the Angel in my mind for guardianship, direction, and courage. I've never done that before, but it feels natural.

All of a sudden we're in the cemetery. I don't even remember how we got here. Everything's just whirling past in a blur. We're entering a crypt and I peer quizzically at Jace. He doesn't return my gaze. His brow is furrowed with determination and I can tell nothing else in the world exists but his mission to recover his sister. I can't help but admire his bravery and devotion. He truly lives and breathes his duty as a Shadowhunter.

After what seems like an eternity of stairs, I'm stunned to realize that at the end of a dimly lit passageway, the sound of rowdy voices is rumbling from behind a closed door. There are two paths on either side of the door, giving us the option not to go inside. I can't tell if I should be _more_ relaxed by the muted noise or _less_. On the one hand, at least there isn't any spooky dead stuff like I expected there to be underneath a crypt. On the other, the voices probably don't belong to friendlies ready to greet us with balloons and cake, and there sure seem to be a lot of them.

I glance up at Jace again. This time he returns my glance. I can see him telling me to be quiet with his eyes, but they're also trying to reassure me, as if to say,  _'Don't worry. I've got your back.'_ This doesn't exactly put me at ease, though, as this is still totally unfamiliar territory to me.

Alec's leading us from ahead, moving silently and signalling us to follow him into the left tunnel. There are various bits of rubble and trash strewn about, and a distinctive mold smell that I've never encountered before rudely forces itself into my nostrils.

" _Demon_ shit." Jace wrinkles his nose in disgust. "Everything they do has the stench of decay to it."

Alec shushes him testily as he ducks behind a large crate that stinks of rotten eggs. I wonder what's inside, but also feel fairly certain that I really don't want to know. Jace and I crouch beside him.

"We've got to wait until one leaves the bar so we can catch it on its own. We don't stand a chance barging inside and trying to take them all. From the sound of it, there's at least ten in there and with our friend here…" Alec shoots me a snide look. "Well, let's just say we may not be able to take as many as usual." I flush and chew on my lip contritely. I feel bad about being dead weight. I'm hoping there's some way I can be useful and not just a hindrance to them.

Jace gives me an almost apologetic look as if to say,  _'Don't mind him. You're fine.'_ I don't believe him, though his faith in me makes me want to prove myself all the more. He may be awful sometimes, but he can actually be pretty kind, too. 

The golden-eyed young Shadowhunter gets pushed from my mind, however, when the side door of the bar is shoved open and a huge creature emerges into the hallway groaning torpidly. It looks like one of the traditional humanoid demon depictions I saw in some of the Institute library books. The demon's skin is red and lumpy. It almost looks like it's made out of rocks. It has huge curling horns that look like a ram's and has cloven hooves to match. There are dark claws for nails on its hands and its eyes are fully black like a shark's. With wings and a pointed tail, the demon looks way too strong for the three of us to take. I'm looking at the two boys beside me with alarm, but they seem unfazed.  _They're not actually thinking of trying to go against THAT, are they?!_

Alec and Jace are staring intently at one another. For a second, I wonder if Shadowhunters can communicate telepathically, but I suppose they probably just know each other well enough to speak with their faces alone. They _are_ parabatai after all. Alec jerks his thumb to the left then to the right and Jace nods; then he turns his sparkling blue eyes on me and points downward emphatically, clearly telling me to stay put. I scowl but am mildly relieved. I really don't want to go near the massive creature that's the stuff nightmares are made of. The two of them pull out their seraph blades and whisper their names. I do the same, though I know it's unnecessary. Better safe than sorry, I figure.

An odor that overpowers the rotten egg stench punches me in the nose. It's accompanied by the sound of a heavy stream of water splashing the ground and I realize that the demon is…  _relieving_ itself in the hallway. Apparently _corridor_ is synonymous with _bathroom_ in demonic culture. Taking advantage of the demon's distraction, Jace and Alec race out and flank it, jamming their seraph blades into its sides and shoving it against the crypt walls. For a moment, I see Alec's parabatai rune shimmer on his exposed bicep. It seems the strength partner-warriors draw from one another increases their individual strength, too, doubling their total strength.  _Neat_. The demon's face is smashed hard against the stone, but Jace hisses a warning for it not to make a sound or it'll become demon à la shish kebob. I struggle to suppress a giggle despite my terror.

The demon doesn't seem scared, but it waits in silence for its attackers to speak again.

"Shadowhunter girl, black hair, hard to miss. Where is she?" Alec demands in a low tone, driving his blade harder into the demon's back.

"How should I know?" The demon's voice is so deep and garbled it's hard to make out what its saying. "You think I keep tabs on your lot? Sure your stench didn't drive her away?"

"You're one to talk." Jace interjects.

A woman's laugh echoes throughout the halls, faint but clear.

" _Izzy_ …" Alec stands upright, his blade dropping to his side as he squints down the tunnels.

"Alec!" Jace shouts but before the dark-haired boy can react, the demon swats him aside with the back of his gigantic arm, sending him flying into the far wall with a crunch. Alec groans as he slides to the floor. The demon turns his attention to Jace, but the slender boy has already started sprinting away from him.  _Jace running from a fight?_ I marvel in disbelief, but sure enough just as the demon has started clomping steadily after him, he turns and heads straight for it.  _What is he doing?!_

Without thinking, I'm about to leap out from behind the crate when I notice Jace dropping to the floor and sliding with tremendous speed straight for the demon's legs. He slams into them with incredible force, causing the demon to lose its balance and topple over the crouched boy. Jace rolls out from under it just in time to avoid being crushed by its weight as it falls face-first to the ground. These demons have crazy strength, but poor reaction time, I note.

Jace calls to Alec as he leaps on top of the prone creature's back and raises his blade but Alec's still struggling to get to his feet. Realizing what Jace is going to do, I dart out into the hall and jump up next to him, raising my blade, too. Jace looks at me in surprise for a moment, but his expression quickly shifts into one of resolute assent. He brings his head down in a calculated nod and we simultaneously plunge our seraph blades into the demon's back as hard as we can. It groans loudly as its body begins to sizzle and melt underneath us.

"Quick." Jace grabs my wrist and heaves me off of the shrinking body beneath us. We rush over to Alec and thrust our shoulders under his, hoisting him clumsily to his feet. Jace has to bend down so he's level with me, tiny as I am. We half-drag Alec into the closest tunnel. It's shrouded in darkness, the torch having burnt out. We press our backs against the wall just in the nick of time. Two demons, identical to the one we just killed, stomp through the side door and peer about lazily for their friend. Their fraternal bonds must not be that strong, however, because they seem to shrug and reenter the bar within a few minutes. I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding in a long stream, relief washing over me.  _That was close._

We set Alec down again and Jace pulls his witchlight out of his pocket, raising it and then handing it to me as he begins to mark his brother with an iratze rune. Within a few moments, Alec starts to regain some of his strength. To my astonishment, the first thing he says is,

"Nice going, kid." He manages a weak smile at me, and out of the corner of my eyes I see Jace beaming proudly at me as though it's entirely his doing that I was able to be helpful at all. I'd like to think at least part of that came from just me. Regardless, I feel my heart swell a bit under the rush of adrenaline coursing through my body. It feels like I might have finally redeemed myself a bit in Alec's eyes and that maybe there's hope for me after all. Maybe.

"Iz…" Jace says to Alec as he's getting to his feet.

"That way." Alec nods back to the main tunnel. We peek around the corner to make sure the path is clear before stealthily making our way to the next opening in the wall. I'm suddenly aware of the stealth rune burning on my skin.  _Crap, it's wearing off._  Apparently my lack of stealth is so stupendous that it's eating up all the Mark's power _fast_. I decide not to say anything just yet.

As we creep down the new hallway which is also lacking in illumination, I wrap my fingers around the witchlight so it's only bright enough to light our next steps. I seem to have made my way to the front of the group, which I'm half gratified, half terrified by. I feel Jace's hand lightly resting against the small of my back encouraging me onward. I feel a tingle run down my spine from his touch.

I can hear a murmuring of hushed voices growing increasingly louder. I can't tell what's at the end of the corridor, but I'm pretty sure it's not a dead end because the voices seem to be coming from the left of us up ahead. I'm becoming more and more certain that it's a female voice and a male voice, but they're too quiet for me to make out what they're saying.

Alec suddenly shoves past us, causing Jace to draw his arm back. The spot on my back where his hand was touching me _instantly_ feels cold, though I know I'm just imagining things. Alec stops in his tracks after a few paces and I bump into him, still thinking about Jace's hand on my back. I mentally chastise myself for not paying better attention.

When I look up inquisitively at the boy in front of me, I notice his eyes have gone wide and his jaw is clenched. My gaze flicks to Jace who's frowning at Alec, but when the girl's voice rings in the air again, his face also drops. I realize why just a few seconds later.

Without a doubt, the voice belongs to Isabelle, and she's giggling in the darkness just around the corner ahead of us.


	3. The Trek Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clary draws her first rune, learns more about demons, and encounters a familiar face.

I watch Alec gulp and close his eyes as he braces himself for what he's about to see. I think the three of us are all thinking the same thing: that whatever we encounter around the corner, it can't be good.

He takes out his witchlight and thrusts it above his head as he rounds the corner, bright light dispelling all of the darkness within a ten-foot radius. Jace and I are at his heels, so we see what he does only a second later. There's a shriek and what appears to be a bald man with pointed ears and reddish skin recoils from the girl he'd been holding against the crypt wall, shielding his face from the light.

"Isabelle!" I gasp under my breath. She looks incredibly weak. Her face is drained of all color, bloody sores are spread over various parts of her exposed skin, and a dazed expression is plastered over her face. She's smiling and giggling like she's drunk as she leans limply against the stone wall. Her eyes are unfocused, staring at a patch of ceiling still covered in darkness. She doesn't look at all like the Isabelle I know.

The man grows less human by the minute and begins to run from us, the witchlight clearly burning his skin.

"An incubus!" Alec shouts and charges after it. Jace follows suit. I run to Isabelle and manage to catch her just as she begins to lose balance. I sink to the floor with her, holding her in my arms, unsure as to what I should do now. Should I try to clean her up? With what? Should I try to snap her out of her stupor? But how?

Just a second later I remember the stele in my pocket that Jace gave me when he was helping me gear up. I close my eyes and force myself to remember what the iratze rune looks like. I've seen it several times by now, but I've never drawn it before. I've actually never drawn any rune before, let alone marked someone. I pray I don't mess up and inadvertently hurt her worse than she already is. My hand is trembling, but I tell myself that I have to do this – for Izzy's sake.

I can hear Jace and Alec struggling with the demon in the distance. Alec dropped his witchlight by Isabelle's feet, so the only light the parabatai have to fight by is the glow of their seraph blades. The incubus is frighteningly fast and is whipping around them, causing them to nearly lose their balance from spinning in circles.

After I practice tracing the rune in the air above her pale skin a few times, I finally begin to mark her. The tip of the stele lights up as it touches her body. I can feel the power inside the stele flowing into the rune I'm drawing on her arm. The sound of sizzling flesh causes me to wince, but there's no burning smell, and I know that Marks don't actually hurt that much when applied. I guess being the one doing the marking is just slightly more unnerving than being marked.

When I'm done, something I've never seen before causes me to fall back on my heels. I hear a horrible squeal of death signalling the triumph of good over evil once again and Jace and Alec are back at my side just moments later. They make it in time to catch the tail end of what I'm witnessing.

Something that looks similar to the aurora borealis is swirling under Isabelle's skin, disseminating from the iratze rune all over her body. It looks like a shimmering golden light making her glow like the witchlight, but softer, and as the light moves under the sores on her body, they instantly begin healing. Color is quickly returning to her face and her eyes are regaining their focus. The swirling gold shimmer begins to fade, and Isabelle breathes in deeply as if she's just become conscious again after almost drowning.

"What the-" Jace begins, his eyes wide as he watches his sister look around with a puzzled look on her face. Alec seems to care less about what just happened and more about making sure she's okay now. He leans towards her and rests an arm gingerly on hers as if he were afraid of breaking her. I'd have laughed at the thought of a fragile Isabelle if I hadn't just witnessed her look as though she were on the brink of death.

"I'm fine. What happened?" She moves to stand and shakes Alec off when he tries to help her. She's looking around at us and just past us as if she's expecting someone else to be there.

" _We_ should be asking _you_ that," says Jace, sternly. His reaction seems to be the opposite of Alec's. I'm reminded of the good cop/bad cop parenting style that happens when a kid gets hurt doing something they shouldn't have been. In the dim light, I almost miss Isabelle redden a bit. I've never seen Isabelle get embarrassed before. A lot of firsts today.

When she doesn't say anything, a slap breaks the silence. To all of our surprise, including Alec himself, he's just struck his sister across the face. She reels for a moment, before shouting,

"What the  _hell,_ Alec?!" He looks uncertain for a moment, but then a dark shadow overtakes him.

"How could you do something so  _stupid!?"_ He yells back at her. "What were you thinking? You couldn't have been down here with that demon for more than an hour, and I doubt you had even spent an hour with him right after you met him. Once they have a victim in their clutches, it takes less than thirty minutes for an incubus to drain its life. The only reason it can take that long is because they like to play with their food, relish the kill, and…" He trails off awkwardly for a moment looking away.  _"_ And _pretend_ like their seduction is real. It makes it all the more _thrilling_ for them. I'm glad we made it here in time to at least spare you from _that_."

I look at Jace for an explanation as to what Alec means, but the expression on his face is telling me not to ask. Though I know I shouldn't, my curiosity will probably catch up with me later and force me to ask him about it anyway.

"The point being, you had plenty of time to check in before then. So why didn't you?"

"I'm sorry, Alec." Isabelle says in a small voice. She looks defeated. "I was just sick of it all, you know? Sick of having to play the part of a responsible adult. You're the grown up when our parents aren't around, the one who protects everyone and watches out for them. And Jace… well, even if he can be thoughtless at times, he's far more responsible than I am. He can handle stuff that's way out of my league, and he's always ready to take command in battle. I'm the baby sister. The wild child who runs off and parties too much." Tears well up in her eyes. I turn away, feeling very much like I shouldn't be here for this conversation. If I thought a scary horned demon thing and an incubus were too much for me to handle in one night, a vulnerable Isabelle Lightwood _certainly_ tops both.

"I'm the fuck-up," she adds under her breath. It's Jace's turn to speak up.

"What the _hell_ are you talking about, Iz? You're _none_ of those things. You're one of the best warriors I know and certainly one of the worthiest Shadowhunters I've ever met. You're just feeling sorry for yourself for being played. So you made a stupid mistake. No big. I do it all the time." She manages a teary smile.

"Yeah, but no offense or anything, Jace, you're not exactly big on the thinking side of things."

"Well, hey, I'm just impressed that an incubus managed to seduce _you_ in the first place. He must have been _pretty_ powerful to bag Miss Isabelle Lightwood. After all, you're practically a succubus yourself, aren't ya? _Man-eater!_ " My mouth drops in disbelief, but the jibe doesn't seem to affect Isabelle nearly as much as it does me. If anything she simply cruises past the backhanded part of the compliment.

"God, Jace! I'm not  _that_ bad, am I?" I can see her lips trying to suppress a pleased smile. "Besides, what about you? You're not exactly a saint either. If I'm a succubus, then what are you? An incubus, too?"

"Nope. My victims come to me _willingly_." Isabelle's eyes flash with ire at his words and she lashes out to smack him. He easily moves out of her reach as Alec restrains her. A smirk dances on Jace's lips.

 _Victims? Does he really think about the people he gets with like that?_ I decide that it's best not to find out first hand, though it feels almost like something deep inside of me is protesting at the thought. I shrug it off and try to refocus my attention to the present. I speak up for the first time.

"So, uh... how do we get out of here? I mean, not to be a party pooper or anything, but am I the only one who's done being in a crypt?" Everyone just kind of stares at me for a moment. I wonder what I said to make them look at me that way. Did I make some sort of Shadowhunter faux pas?

Jace turns back to Izzy. "Think, Iz. Do you remember how you got down here with the incubus? Was it through the tomb's main entrance?"

I'm thinking back to the demon bar now and really hoping we don't have to go back that way, though I'm also not too keen on the idea of getting lost down here either. The lack of fresh air is starting to get to me.

Isabelle furrows her brow for a moment, then responds slowly, trying to remember.

"No… There's actually a passage to the crypt's tunnel network behind the werewolf bar."

"You were at the werewolf bar?!" Jace and Alec chime in unison, equal parts incredulity and extreme fury in their voices.

"No! God, no. Jeez, what do you take me for? An idiot? No, even I'm not  _that_  stupid." Her tone of outrage morphs into one of mild chagrin. "I was down the street at Gregor's." Her brothers groan indicating that that wasn't much better.

"Ugh, Isabelle. You really do make poor choices sometimes. But honestly, I don't remember the last time you did something  _this_  stupid." Alec's holding his witchlight again, turning around to regain his bearings. She doesn't respond, but snatches the witchlight out of his hand and pulls him by the shoulder after her as she begins to stomp off in the opposite direction from where we came.

"Just… come on," mutters Isabelle to her brother, leading us to what I hope will be safety before too long.

I'm following the two of them, but realize I've fallen behind a bit. I look down at the speed rune on my arm and it's starting to fade.

"Crap," I whisper under my breath.

"What is it?" Jace's voice is right next to my ear and I start. I swear, his movements are quieter than Church's.

"Oh, nothing. It's just that some of the Marks are starting to fade."

"That's not exactly nothing. Means we need to hurry. Hopefully we won't run into any more trouble." His lips twist in a way that makes me feel like he actually meant to say, ' _too_ much more trouble.' His words make me realize how tired I am more than anything else.  _Oh, how I wish this day would end already._

Jace's hand is at the small of my back again, and my heart skips a beat as I feel it press against my clothes more firmly this time. I feel like my heart is pronouncing how happy it is to feel his hand on my body again, while my head is frantically trying to tell my heart to shut up. Despite how nice it feels for him to touch me, the emotional turbulence it causes within me barely seems worth it. I become ten times more exhausted attempting to deal with it all. I move away from him and he starts to look at me questioningly, but I deflect his scrutiny with a question of my own.

"What did Alec mean when he said that incubi  _pretend_ their seduction is real? And if incubi and succubi drain the life from their victims, too, what's the difference between them and vampires? Don't they also lure their prey with their charms and stuff?"

Jace rolls his eyes slightly as if reluctant to answer the question. I recall the fact that he had been trying to dissuade me from asking about it earlier. I decide not to care. Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back, no?

...apparently, sometimes it's better to be left curious than know the answer to something...

"Well, you see, uh…" Jace is squirming and I have no idea why. I resist the urge to say, 'Just spit it out already.' He seems to make up his mind to do just that. "Ok, so vampires can do the whole charming seduction thing, sure, but not to the same extent that incubi and succubi can. That's like their thing. Kind of like a siren's song or a fairy's dance. It intoxicates you and causes you to become incapable of resisting them. You're drawn to them like a moth to light. They're also different from vampires in that they typically hunt alone. It's like a ritual for them. They see it as something intimate and special, not just feeding to survive like vampires."

"As if vampires weren't creepy enough. Now there are creatures who not only drain the life from people, but get off on it in some sort of overly involved way?" Jace looks like he just swallowed a golf ball.  _What did I say?_

"Uh… _yeah_ , actually… about that… that's kind of _exactly_ what they do…" He's deliberately avoiding making eye contact.

"Wait, _what_?!" I gape at him, hoping I misheard him.

"You see… vampires… they're simple enough. They stalk, they feed, they sometimes turn, they sometimes kill. That's about the extent of it. While they occasionally like to sadistically torment their food, they usually don't have the patience to keep it up for too long. If they're hungry, they really can't control their bloodlust. I know that the wounds on Izzy's skin looked almost like vampire bites and the loopy state she was in is kind of reminiscent of the sort of pleasant warmth that comes over someone when they get bitten by a vamp, but the difference is, the spell she was under started before the incubus bit her, and the bites weren't how it was going to kill her."

"I don't get it. What does that have to do with-"

"Incubi and succubi kill by, uh, having _sex_ with their victims."

" _What_?!" Alec and Isabelle turn their heads to look back at me disapprovingly. I check myself and lower my voice. "What do you mean they have  _sex_ with their victims? They have sex with their  _food?!"_

Jace looks beyond uncomfortable now, and I can't tell if it's the subject itself that's making him feel this way, because it almost happened to Isabelle, or because it's me he's talking to about this. I suppose it might be a combination of all of the above, yet somehow, I doubt _Jace Wayland_ would normally have a problem talking about _sex_.

"Well, technically they don't  _eat_. They survive off of the life-forces they drain from their prey, but they just happen to drain their life in a... _different..._ way… Not, strictly speaking... from blood..."

"But the sores, the bites-"

"Yeah, that was just Inky having a bit of fun. Something between foreplay and an aperitif."

 _Gross!_ I can't believe Jace's telling me all of this. I guess it's my fault I asked.

"She looked so weak though… like she'd already been drained… had he already…?"

"No. She'd be dead if he had. Once they get started, that's it. It's game over. Nothing can stop them. He was actually just draining her blood for fun. The blood-loss plus the seduction spell that was scrambling her brains alone are enough to pretty severely mess someone up. A weaker person probably couldn't have held out as long as she had the way he was working on her. I think that's why he picked her. He knew a Shadowhunter would last longer, be more fun." He looked disgusted and enraged thinking about it. I could see him killing the demon again and again in his mind.

"That's really messed up. I can't believe things like that exist. Vampires, werewolves, warlocks, demons that have stingers and shapeshift, sure, but that? That's just wrong."

"Ha. Welcome to Hell, my innocent little friend. Evil really is just that. For all the good that exists in the world, for all of the wonder and beauty and charm, the opposite exists, too. Things far worse than anything you could ever dream up in your scariest nightmares are real, and our job is to rid the world of these aberrations. Shadowhunters must have the strongest constitutions in the world in order to face the most horrific, depraved, putrid, abhorrent creatures ever to walk the earth. They have no right to taint our world with their abominable ways. Every moment they're allowed to remain alive here is another innocent life lost. I can't stand it."

The conversation has gotten far too heavy for me to be able to handle right now. Jace looks so grave that I frantically search my brain for something to change the subject with as we continue our long journey down the gloomy crypt tunnels. They seem endless and my legs are starting to whine from all of the day's exertion.

"Has anything like this ever happened to any of you before? I mean, from what you said, it sounds like it'd be pretty hard to resist an incubus or succubus if they cast their spell on you, right? How do you prevent that from happening?"

Jace's tone softens a bit, and I can tell my attempt to distract him from his previous train of thought is working.

"Well, normally, we travel in packs. Shadowhunters, I mean, and one of their kind would never dream of trying to take on more than one of us at a time. Their seduction doesn't work that way. Besides, when it comes to practically any other type of creature, Shadowhunters can usually hold their own against way more than just one by themselves. It takes a special kind of power to defeat a Shadowhunter one on one. Only greater demons and certain creatures with magic they can use to cloud our minds stand a chance against us. We're the peacekeepers for a reason. We're stronger, better."I want to add, 'Faster, harder,' but I know he won't get the joke. Where's Simon when I need him? Oh yeah, _not_ out killing demons. Bully for him.

"So, why do you think Isabelle went out on her own like that? Does she do that sort of thing often? She said she's the wild child of the group and goes out partying? Is that true?"

Jace looks as though we're quickly approaching a subject he'd really rather not discuss.

"No. That's not really true. I mean, yeah, she does enjoy drinking and dancing more than Alec and I do, not that I don't know how to have a good time." He smirks for a split second. It's the first time during this whole trek that he's been anything other than frighteningly grim. My heart jumps. "But, I think she was referring to the fact that since Maryse and Robert have been gone, and well, since you've come into our lives, she's had to assume a role she's not used to."

"How so?" I know I'm probably asking too many questions, but I can't seem to stop myself. It's the first time I feel like anyone's actually given me any direct answers and I'm going to take advantage of that fact for as long as I can.

"Well, don't go repeating this, but I think that she kind of resents the fact that you're the new  _baby_ of the group, and I don't mean baby like Max is." I recall being told that Max is the youngest Lightwood sibling, but get distracted by what he means by baby.

"I am  _no-"_ Jace cuts me off.

"I  _mean_ , you're the one we're all having to look out for now. Although Izzy is more than capable of taking care of herself… well, usually… her being the girl of the family makes the rest of us all feel extra protective of her and she loves the attention. Now that you're here, you're stealing the limelight from her."

"But I don't _mean_ to b-"

"It doesn't matter. You're everything she's not. Weak, clumsy, innocent, foolish-"

"Wow, thanks a lot, Jace. You really know how to make a girl feel good about herself." He stops walking and turns to face me.

"Let me finish. You're these things because you weren't raised like us, but with a bit of training, you can become like us. You've already proven that you have Shadowhunter instincts. I was really impressed with how you took the initiative back there. So was Alec. And what you did to Izzy, with that iratze... I mean, I still don't fully understand what happened, but it was incredible. It took a hell of a lot of power to bring her practically back to full health from that state. I definitely couldn't have done it myself. You'll have to explain to me what you did later."

"I don't know what I did, actually. I just marked her with the same rune I've seen everyone else use, but it just seemed to overwhelm me and I could feel some intense power surging from the stele as I drew."

"I don't think that power was coming from the stele." He eyes me enigmatically. "Anyway, I just think that she needed to feel cared about again, which is stupid because obviously we all care about her more than our own flesh. She has more insecurities than she lets on, but I guess we all do, huh?"

I'm stunned at how much he's opening up to me, but I still have a hard time believing that someone as attractive and confident as him could ever have _any_ insecurities. I can hardly believe that Isabelle has insecurities, but I guess I can understand how things might be difficult for her with the change in dynamics after her parents left and I arrived. I wish I could somehow let her know that I'm not intentionally trying to steal all the attention. In fact, I'd gladly give it all back to her if I could. Maybe if I just train more with Jace, I can start being a better team member and not just someone they have to watch out for like unpaid babysitters. Being an unpaid babysitter would probably make anyone resentful.

Thankfully, I see flickering lights ahead and I can tell we're almost to the surface again. Unlike the entrance we came through, this exit is just a grate in the ceiling. From above, it probably looks like nothing more than an entrance to the sewers. There are handles on the wall closest to the grate. Jace says what I'm thinking.

"You came through _there_? Wasn't there a voice in the back of your head telling you that climbing down into a dark tunnel with a guy you just met in a Downworlder bar is a _bad_ idea?"

"I was already charmed, so bite me. I'd like to see _you_ resist the spell of a succubus."

"Game on, sister. Find me one and watch me." Isabelle just scoffs and starts climbing up the wall. She lifts the grate with one hand and climbs out of the hole and onto the street. Alec follows her and when he's gone, Jace motions for me to go before him. As I put my foot on the bottom rung, I feel his hand on my shoulder.

"Don't… repeat any of what I told you tonight, okay? I honestly don't know why I said as much as I did. You sure _you're_ not a succubus who put me under a spell?" He grins deviously at me.

"Well, I certainly don't want to have sex with you and kill you." His face falls and I turn beet red when I realize the implications of what I just said, which was that I didn't want to have sex with Jace. Wayland.  _Is that true? What!? Why am I even thinking about this?! Does it matter?! I shouldn't even be thinking about having sex with him in the first place. Or not having sex with him for that matter. Gah! Stop, brain, stop!_

"I suppose that's only a mild disappointment, then," he says with a nonchalant look on his face, his eyes staring past me at the metal bars. My mind shifts into overdrive as it tries to decipher his meaning.  _Does that mean he's disappointed that I don't want to have sex with him?! He's just teasing me again, right?_ If my mind could make noise, the sound it'd be making right now is something along the lines of, ' _ALKJGLKADSJFALKFJAF_.'

Just then, Alec's head is hovering over the opening in the ground and he shouts irritably down at us.

"Are you guys coming or what?" Isabelle appears next to him.

"Yeah, could you  _be_ any slower?"

"It's not my fault! Clary's speed rune has worn off and she has _ridiculously_ short legs."

"Oh, thanks a _lot_ , Jace. Blame everything on me, why don't cha?"

"Already did, Red." He winks at me and somehow, magically, climbs over me and is already at the opening while my foot is still on the bottom rung.

"So much for ladies first," I grumble to myself.

When I've made it to the top, Jace's hand reaches through to pull me onto the street. I stumble into his arms and he steadies me by bringing me close to his chest. At this point, my nerves are so fried and I'm so exhausted I barely have the energy to flip out internally over our bodily proximity. I can feel his breath warm on my forehead.  _Are his arms tightening around me?_

A throat clears and I push myself away from Jace's embrace expecting to see the Lightwood siblings scowling at me. But they've already passed the werewolf bar and are approaching the end of the alleyway.

A tall scruffy-looking man in a plaid flannel shirt and ripped jeans is towering over us. I glance at the werewolf bar just a ways past him and my eyes slowly move back to the man looming before us.

Just when I thought the day couldn't _possibly_ get any worse, I find myself face to face with the last person on earth I want to see right now: _Luke_.


	4. Luke's Tale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke reveals part of the history of the Circle to Clary & Jace.

Luke breaks the silence first.

" _Clary_?" The tiredness on Luke's face is being taken over by mild incredulity. "What on Earth are you doing here?"

"I might ask you the same thing,  _Luke,_ " I counter with undisguised venom in my voice. I glare at him for a second, before making my mind up to leave.

"Come on," I snap at Jace, accidentally turning my anger on him.

"Wait." Luke grabs my arm and looks imploringly at me. I violently wrench my arm free from his clutches with disgust. Jace steps quickly in between us as if to say, ' _D_ _on't you dare touch her again.'_ Normally I'd hate Jace being overprotective like this as though I'm some sort of feeble child, but right now, I'm grateful he's here to step in. His presence gives me added strength and resolve.

"I have nothing to say to you. You're deplorable. A coward. A liar."

"A liar like your mother?"

"At least she didn't intentionally abandon me. And I know that all the lies she told me were to protect me, even if that didn't work out stupendously."

"I was trying to protect you, too. I only said what I did to throw Valentine off. If he knew the truth about how I feel, what you and Jocelyn mean to me, I wouldn't be standing here right now. He'd be torturing me for information in a cell somewhere, thinking I had some knowledge about the Mortal Cup's whereabouts."

"You're lying. Just like you lied to my mom and me for years. You were just trying to get the Cup for yourself. Or for Valentine. You've probably been working for him all this time since he knew mom trusted you." My tone is firm, but I'm growing uncertain.

"You've got it all wrong, Clary. Just think about it. None of that makes sense. There's a whole backstory you don't know, that if you'd just let me tell you, you'd understand why it's impossible that I could still a part of the Circle. Valentine exiled me after he found out what I'd become. Attempted to convince me to kill myself, saying death was a better fate than living as an abomination." Luke's eyes are darting around nervously, scanning the area as if he can sense danger close at hand. His voice has a note of sincerity and desperation that causes my determination of not listening to him to falter.

"What you became? What do you mean?" I'm trying to maintain control of the situation, acting like I don't believe him. Jace speaks up for the first time.

"He's a lycanthrope." He glances to the werewolf bar then back to Luke.

"What?! That's impossible. I would have noticed  _something_ -" I speak without thinking.

"No. You wouldn't have. You didn't notice the scars or marks on Jocelyn's body. You didn't notice any indications of the unseen world existing. If I'm not mistaken, you've already seen Magnus Bane, so you probably know why by now."

I say nothing, trying to put all of the puzzle pieces together in my mind. He's right. If Magnus' spell caused me to forget, to block out anything and everything to do with their world, it would make sense that I wouldn't realize what was going on with Luke. I recall now how Luke would disappear every month for a few days, and when I asked mom where he went or if I could go to the bookstore, she'd say with a tone of finality that made me drop the subject, ' _you know he's meeting with his distributer.'_  It made sense at the time, but now I'm wondering if it's normal for retailers to meet with their distributers for a few days at time every month. I seriously doubt it.

"Look, Clary, it's not safe here. I'm not even sure why you're here."

"Why are you here?" I cut in, again without thinking. Luke doesn't meet my gaze and he shifts uncomfortably. Before he can respond, though, Jace answers.

"He's a werewolf, of course. Why wouldn't he be here?"

 _D'oh. Oh yeah._  My mouth is moving faster than my mind. I must be more tired than I realize.

"Yeah, well, why are you out back, though?" I try to save face a bit so Jace doesn't think I'm a total airhead. Luke and Jace look at me like I can't be serious. I bet they're thinking the same thing, ' _why does it matter?'_

"Uh, well, actually, I'm friends with the owner. He lets my pack and me have run of the back of the bar. In exchange for use of the back rooms, I do odd jobs for him here. I was taking out the trash and recycling when I heard noises coming from back here. I saw a couple of Shadowhunters climb out of there, but I don't think they saw me. I walked over to see what was going on, and that's when I saw you." He looks kind of exasperated at having to explain something so trivial, but I guess he wants to show me he's willing to be totally honest with me. Hopefully.

"We should go elsewhere and talk. I'll explain everything, I promise." Luke eyes Jace suspiciously, who eyes him back with cautious distrust.

"Jace Wayland. Shadowhunter. I kill your kind," Jace says without moving. Luke gives him a look as if to say, ' _Shadowhunter, really? You don't say,'_ as his gaze passes over Jace's gear, weapons, and marks.

"Wayland," Luke murmurs. "I knew a Michael Wayland. We went to school together... with the other members of the Circle. Good man. Never found out what happened to him after the Uprising."

"He died," Jace says with a tone of finality indicating he was done talking about the subject.

Luke's face softens, an expression of sadness and remorse washing over it as he puts two and two together.

"Fine. Let's go," I say, authoritatively, making sure Luke knows I'm the one in charge here, "but I swear, Luke, if you lie to me again, you're out of my life for good. I'm tired of being lied to, of not knowing what's real and what's not. Of not knowing who to trust."

"No more lies," he promises.

* * *

Jace insisted that we go to Taki's. I guess he figures talking in public is safest. Or maybe he's just hungry. I gape at him in awe as he inhales a giant plate of pasta.  _Damn_.  _He eats almost as fast as he moves._

Luke launches into the full history of the Circle without delay. It's like he's been holding all of this back for years, longing to tell me, but unable to do so. I can tell my mom forbade him from breathing a single word of it to me.

Seeing how eager he is to share everything with me, it's evident he's telling the truth, and it explains why there was always this feeling of slight distance and apprehension I got from him. It's almost as if he was afraid he might slip up and reveal something he shouldn't. It makes me realize just how much he cares for me and wanted me to be a part of his life.

My wary standoffishness breaks and morphs into fondness tinged with guilt _. How could I ever have doubted him? The closest thing I've ever had to a father?_  His obvious love for me touches my heart with a pang of pained affection. I want to reach out and hug him across the table, want him to hold me like he did when I was little and scared. ' _I miss you so much,'_ I'm crying out to him in my head.

"When we were in school, Valentine was charming, intelligent, talented. Everyone loved and admired him. He inspired us and when he spoke of change, a new and better world, new Clave leadership, our youthful idealism overtook us. Though I'd always loved your mother, I never expected her to even glance my way. That she was as kind to me as she was, that she permitted me to even be her friend was more than I could ever have hoped for. So, when she and Valentine got together, I was truly happy for them. I felt that there was no one more deserving of her than him. After we all graduated,  _'Valentine's fanclub'_  as Jocelyn teasingly called us became solidified into what officially became known as the Circle. At first, our convictions only increased and Valentine led us boldly and fearlessly. Our belief in him was unshakeable and our devotion to him blinded us to the truth."

"Wait," I interrupt. "My mother and Valentine were together?!" Hodge had briefly told me about the Circle, explaining that the men who were looking for the Cup and took my mother were a part of it, working for Valentine who must still be alive, though everyone thought he'd died. I had found a picture in the library with my mom, Luke, Hodge, Valentine, the men I'd seen, and some other Shadowhunters I didn't recognize. When I freaked out about my mom standing next to Valentine, being a part of the Circle in the first place, Hodge had simply said something similar to what Luke was saying now.  _'In youth, the desire to make a difference in the world can be so powerful that it twists your view of reality. Valentine was charming and persuasive, and the things he spoke of in the beginning were very different than the things he ended up doing later on.'_

"They got married shortly after graduating, actually."

My eyes continue to widen in horror and disbelief. Jace is silently and attentively listening as Luke speaks, idly munching on one of my french fries every now and again. If I weren't so engrossed in what Luke is saying, I'd probably be pretty peeved. But as it is, I've barely touched my food so I guess it's better someone eat it than it go to waste. Luke only ordered water, which is sitting on the table next to his arm, even more neglected than my burger and fries.

"They were so in love in the beginning. They were… happy, hard as that may be to believe. She was everything to him, and he to her. And they both to me. Valentine had made me his second in command, and I could hardly believe it. I felt so unqualified, not having any of the amazing attributes he had. But he must have seen something in me, trusted me, perhaps, and I tried my best to serve him well. The Circle grew stronger, we formulated plans of attack to overtake the Clave, we went out hunting Downworlders in our mission to rid the world of all demonic taint." Luke shudders when he says this. "And finally, we planned the Uprising, our goal to stop the Accords from taking place."

"I've heard about the Uprising. It was brutal. Many Shadowhunters and Downworlders died." Jace interjects, thoughtfully. Luke nods.

"But something happened that changed everything. One night when Valentine and I had gone out hunting werewolves, I got bitten. I was frightened, hoping beyond hope that I'd be one of the lucky few who escape the curse, but when the full moon rolled around, I knew it was all over for me. When I told Valentine, he handed me a dagger and told me to kill myself. I'd become a filthy lycanthrope, one of the things we'd sworn to eliminate from this world. He turned his back on me, and I ran to my sister, Amatis, hoping she would help me. She was married to Stephen Herondale at the time, who was later offered my previous position of Valentine's second in command after Valentine had told everyone that I'd been killed by a werewolf. Stephen gladly accepted, but Valentine forced him to leave my sister and marry a young girl named Celine, deeming Amatis'  _"relations"_  unfit for the Circle. Despite this, Amatis cast me out with disgust when I sought shelter from her, still brainwashed by anti-Downworlder dogma."

Out of the corner of my eyes, I notice Jace grow slightly uncomfortable. He's espoused similar, if not as fanatical, sentiments about Downworlders. He'd never kill one unless they broke the Accords, but it's still no secret that to this day, Shadowhunters and Downworlders have an unspoken hatred of one another. Luke doesn't seem to notice.

"Stephen was later killed in a vampire raid, and I suspect that that was planned, just like my being bitten by a werewolf that night Valentine took me out hunting. Celine, 8 months pregnant at the time, committed suicide, killing her baby as well as a result, her sorrow overtaking her. Stephen's father was also taken by grief and died shortly after. Poor Imogen, Stephen's mother, and the current High Inquisitor, was left alone."

"What do you mean it was planned?" Jace asks solemnly, trying to hide the genuine curiosity on his face out of respect for the tragic story of the Herondales. It's apparent that all of his previous suspiciousness of Luke is totally gone by now.

"Well, as Valentine's words and actions became more sinister, cruel and so removed from what we had expected when we first agreed to follow him, many members of the Circle grew wary of him. We became disenchanted by what he was becoming, by what he was forcing us to do. Even Jocelyn, who loved him more than life itself and had believed in him more than anyone else, had begun sharing her doubts with me. I think it was when I expressed these concerns to Valentine that he became aware of the fact that his wife was losing confidence in him and I was now a threat to him by knowing what Jocelyn had shared with me."

"And Hodge? The Lightwoods? My father? They started turning from Valentine as well, right? That's why they were exiled from Idris and the curse was put on Hodge?" Jace was leaning forward now, his eyes shining and fixed on Luke as if the fate of the world depended on the answer.

"Yes, after the Uprising ended, the Clave punished them for having joined the Circle, but had some leniency on the Lightwoods due to their having children. I'd always thought your father had died in the Uprising, but I guess not since he must have raised you?"

"Until I was ten. That's when I saw him murdered before my eyes."

"Do you know who killed him?"

"Pangborn and Blackwell." Luke's jaw tightens and it seems like all three of us are thinking back to the night when they interrogated Luke. He doesn't say anything in response, but I can see a glimmer of sympathy in his eyes for Jace.

"Valentine sacrificed so many of his so-called friends and followers to achieve his goals. He started experimenting with awful things, demon blood, using the Mortal Cup for his sick attempts to gain power. He tried to increase his own power with it, but realized it was of no use. It would only impact a child."

Both Jace and my eyes widen in horror and anticipation for what Luke is going to say next. Luke's face is grim as he recounts the terrible events to us.

"After I'd run away and joined with a nearby werewolf clan, a warlock named Ragnor Fell informed Jocelyn I was still alive, and she began to visit me and confide her fears in me. She was pregnant with Valentine's child and having terrible dreams, feeling awful even when awake.

A while after she'd given birth to her son, she found a log of experiments Valentine had been conducting and in it, Valentine had written that he'd fed her demon blood while she was pregnant in the hopes that it would cause the baby to be more powerful than a regular Shadowhunter. From the moment Jocelyn had seen her baby, she knew something was wrong, and after finding out that he was part demon, she knew why.

She grew scared and repulsed by the child, by Valentine. Before too much longer, however, she discovered that she was pregnant again, and this time, determined not to let Valentine know lest he turn their second child into a monster as well, she decided to put a stop to what Valentine was doing and leave him. She asked me to help her thwart the uprising and I did everything that was in my power to protect and aid her."

My heart is racing and I'm scared to death by what Luke is telling us.  _She was pregnant again… She ran away with Luke's help… Could it be…? Could it be that Valentine is my father?_  The idea makes me want to throw up, to run screaming out of the restaurant, but I'm glued to the booth's plastic seat. I couldn't get up if I wanted to. I need to hear it for myself. I need to know if it's true.

"When she opened the doors for myself and the other werewolves to enter the Accords Hall, Valentine realized she'd finally turned against him, and after the Uprising ended, Jocelyn and I went to Fairchild Manor to retrieve the child, who despite everything, she still saw as her son and hoped she could raise him in a way to reverse the evil that his father had done, but when we arrived, we found the house in ruins. It had been burnt to the ground and we found the bones of her parents and a man and child, who we assumed to be Valentine and their son."

Jace and I gasp almost simultaneously, though his is much quieter. I feel a shudder run through my body and attempt to wrap my brain around how someone could do such an awful thing.

"We knew that Valentine would never give up that easily, however, so I helped Jocelyn to steal the Cup and escape, to try to hide from Valentine, to prevent him from continuing his terrible experiments with it, and to stop him from ever getting his hands on their second child... you, Clary." Luke looks at me with an expression I can't even begin to describe. There is so much feeling in it that it almost overwhelms me as much as what he's just said. I have to look away; my heart is threatening to burst from my chest it's pounding so hard. The weight of this revelation is like a blow to the face and I'm reeling from it. '

 _'No…'_ is the only thing that's going through my head right now. Over and over, I'm just repeating, ' _No…'_ My breath is ragged as I sit here in silent shock. But this is Luke. It's coming from Luke. And once again, I truly believe with all my heart that he would never lie to me. Jace moves to put a hand on my arm, but I flinch and pull away. I feel like I'm covered in third degree burns and even my clothes moving against my skin is agony.

"This, in part, is why Jocelyn did what she did. Why she lied to you all these years, why she so desperately tried to conceal her past, this world, from you. She was deathly afraid that Valentine would find you. Would do unspeakable things to you like he did to your brother, especially if he had the Cup again."

 _Brother... I had a brother… and my father murdered him._  My hatred of Valentine was increasing by the moment. The discovery of him being my father almost making it worse, knowing what he did to my mother, to my grandparents, to Luke, to Jace's father, and to so many others.

"Clary, please try to understand. Your mother saved you. Saved both of you by fleeing, by using magic in order to stop you from entering into that world, the past, Valentine's radar. She gave you life; she had a second chance to start over and protect her child as she hadn't been able to before."

A thick lump has formed in my throat and I'm having trouble swallowing. I glance down at my coke, but can't bring myself to pick it up. My head is hurting; it's too much for me to take in all at once. The shock is wearing off, though, the adrenaline is dissipating, and I'm coming back down to Earth. The pain and exhaustion of my body hits me like a sledgehammer. I don't think I can stand it much longer.

"Luke…" I begin, not sure of what to say. "Luke… I'm so sorry." Tears well up in my eyes. "I'm so sorry for everything." I'm biting my tongue to keep from crying, determined not to show weakness in front of Jace.

Luke's arm twitches as though he wants to put his hand on mine, but doesn't. I'm glad because although I want nothing more than to be in his arms, my body still feels so raw, I know it would just cause me more pain.

"You didn't know…" He says softly. He looks like he wants to say something more, to ask me questions of his own, but I think he can tell how worn out I am. It's so late now anyway. I don't know what time it is, but it feels like it's the middle of the night.

 _What a day._ I get my ass handed to me in my first Shadowhunting training session. I kill my first demon and mark a shadowhunter for the first time, both draining me of more strength than I expected. And now this. All of this. All of what Luke is telling me, all these secrets I didn't know. If I thought my world had been turned upside down before, that's nothing compared to how I feel now.

Despite my foggy headspace, despite being lost in thought, I force myself to come back to reality for a second and look at Jace. He's staring intently at me, almost as if he's trying to put himself in my shoes and feel what I'm feeling. It makes me feel uncomfortable, but it's nice to know he cares. He furrows his brow at me and says,

"We should go back to the Institute. You look like death." I manage a weak chuckle.

"Ha, thanks. You look good, too." But I  _feel_  like death, too. Jace doesn't smile.

"Yes, I'm sure you're exhausted, Clary. I know this is a lot to process, and although I'm not sure what you've been up to today, it looks like your body could do with as much rest as your mind."

"It's a long story, but I'll tell you about it when I've gotten some energy back."

"As you like. You don't have to tell me anything if you don't want, but just know, my door is always open. If you ever need somewhere to go, I'm here. I'm sorry I couldn't say that sooner, but things weren't so safe. Now… well, anyway… come over anytime, you're welcome to stay as long as you like, too. And if you ever need anything,  _anything... please…_ don't hesitate to ask."

There is nothing but honesty and concern in his face. He looks like the Luke I've always known and loved... trustworthy, strong, always there when I needed him. And I notice that for the first time, the distance between us is gone. I thank the Angel for returning him to me, and not just that, but for bringing us closer together than we've ever been before. All I can do is smile at him, hoping he knows how I feel inside.

"Come on. Let's go," Jace says gently and nods to the door.

We all slide out of the booth seats and stand looking at each other. Jace extends a hand to Luke, which surprises him, but he accepts it with a warm smile.

"Take good care of our Clary."

"I will."

I blush. I look at Luke and though the sensitivity in my skin hasn't fully faded, I throw myself into his arms. He looks taken aback for a moment as I wrap my arms around his waist and squeeze him tightly, burying my head into his chest, but he quickly recovers and squeezes me even more tightly, almost crushing me.

"Luke!" I gasp, feeling like my lungs are about to collapse. He releases me in a hurry.

"Oh! I'm so sorry! Werewolf strength…" He looks away sheepishly. I just smile as I give him another quick hug and say,

"Don't worry about it. Regardless of what these Shadowhunters may say, I think it's kinda cool, actually." Both Luke and Jace have a dark expression on their faces as I say this, but remain silent.

"Be safe, Clary. And if you don't mind, please check in from time to time so I know you're okay."

"I will," I promise, knowing I'll probably be checking in with him far more than he's expecting. I don't think he knows how much I need him in my life.

* * *

As we're headed back to the Institute, Jace pulls out his phone.

"Oh crap. Alec and Izzy have left me a billion messages. They must be worried sick, wondering what happened to us. They're going to slaughter me when they find out we're alright."

"Well, that seems kind of counterproductive." Jace looks unamused.

"How are you holding up?" He eyes me anxiously. I'm sure he's noticing how slow and difficult my movements are. My face and tone of voice are flat and expressionless. All of my energy is being used up in my attempts to not collapse where I stand. I make a noise somewhere between a grumble, moan, and  _'hrmph.'_

"That good, eh? Glad to know today wasn't too hard on you." The corner of his mouth turns up ever so slightly. Jace Wayland, ladies and gentlemen. Incapable of having a conversation without inserting at least one sarcastic comment. But I guess I'm not really one to talk.

I feel like dying. My eyes are closing and I just want to go to sleep. For a moment, I'm afraid I have fallen asleep while my body moves on autopilot. I think I'm just going in and out of consciousness like the way people black out when drunk. That's never happened to me before, though. I don't even drink.

"Clary…" says Jace as we're approaching the Institute gates.

"Mmm?"

" _Clary,_ " Jace repeats, this time with more force. I open my eyes and realize I'm on the ground. I have no idea how I got here.

"Wh-what happened?" I see his face hovering over mine, looking worried.

"You passed out... while walking… I shouldn't have gone so hard on you today in training. It was more than you could handle."

"It's not your fault. You didn't know that the rest of the day was going to be, well, the rest of the day… I think normally I would have been fine, but it's just the mental strain of everything  _plus_  the physical strain that is messing me up." I'm having trouble keeping my eyes open. It feels like my body is shutting down against my will. I can't remember the last time I stayed up this late. I'm usually an early to bed, early to rise kind of gal. I'm not enjoying this change of schedule.

"Come on, we need to get you to bed before you pass out again." He's helping me to my feet, but just when I'm standing, my knees go out and I'm falling again. I feel Jace catch me and lift me up, one arm under my knees, one under my back. He sort of jostles me, helping my arms to fall around his neck. I feel like a child being put to bed by their parent and close my eyes, resting my head against his chest. Underneath the smell of demon ichor, dirt, and diner food, I can smell his sweat and body odor. It smells good. Salty, musky, and yet still clean like soap somehow. I let it comfort me as I relax in his arms.

* * *

The next thing I know, I'm being set on my bed. I feel someone taking off my boots, weapon harness, jacket, and gloves. In my state of semi-consciousness, I wonder who it is. I'm reluctant to open my eyes. I feel a hand run over my hair and cup my cheek. My heart leaps, and I let my eyes open just a crack, hopefully not so much as to let the other person know I'm awake. Jace is leaning over me, looking at me with a mixture of concern and tenderness.  _Tenderness._ I never would have thought I'd see that in Jace's face. I can feel a faint swirling sensation inside of me to see him looking like that at me. I wonder what it means.

He pulls back his hand and looks at my shirt and pants as if deliberating as to whether or not he should remove them, too, seeing as how they're just as filthy as his are. I feel my breath catch as I'm awaiting his decision, trying not to let myself form an opinion about what happens either way. He seems to think better of it, then turns and leaves the room. I release my breath with mild disappointment, but let myself relax again, falling back asleep.


	5. Session Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jace & Clary's second training session gets a little out of control.

"Rise and shine, sleeping beauty!" I'm startled awake by the sound of a door banging open. In my groggy state of semi-consciousness, I'm aware of the fact that someone is quickly approaching my bed. I recognize the voice as Jace's though I refuse to open my eyes.

"Mmrph," I manage, rolling over onto my left side, turning my back to the door. "Leave me alone." When I feel a body land onto the bed next to me, my eyes shoot wide open. My heart leaps into overdrive.

"It's already afternoon. If you don't get up now, the day will be gone and we'll have no time to train." I can feel Jace shifting around on the bed, getting comfortable. I'm afraid to turn and look at him. Despite my mind's frantic repetition of,  _'Jace is on my bed. Jace is next to me on my bed. Jace is next to me on my bed, while I'm under the covers, just having woken up,'_  I force myself to focus on what he's saying.

"Training? Seriously? After yesterday?" Jace leans over me so his face is hovering over mine, his torso pressing against my back. My stomach starts doing somersaults. His characteristic crooked smirk is taunting me as he snorts derisively.

"Do you want to be a Shadowhunter or a princess? I already let you sleep in to help recover from yesterday. You were pretty wrecked. Plus, we'll be working a different set of muscles today, so you wont strain the sore ones."

My mind drifts to the events of last night. I definitely feel pretty sore from the training, and the demonic confrontations were pretty intense for me, plus that iratze rune took quite a bit out of me, but what's draining me the most is the heaviness of the information Luke laid on me. The weight of its significance seems to soak through my thoughts and into my bones and it's making my whole body feel as fatigued as my mind. Recalling how training yesterday had totally pushed all thoughts except what we were doing from my mind, I decide it would probably help me to not think about everything so I agree to get up.

"Fine." I push Jace back to his side of the bed as I sit up. I'm still not looking at him. When the covers fall to my waist, I'm surprised to find that I'm only wearing my pink bra and matching boyshorts. I immediately snatch up the covers, blushing, and pull them back over me, finally turning to look at Jace. His smirk widens to a grin, clearly amused at my attempt at modesty.

"Relax, Red. It's not like I'm unfamiliar with the female form."

"Jace!" I shriek, my eyes widening to what I'm sure resembles the size of anime eyes, not that Jace would know what anime is. I shove him off the bed with all of the strength I can manage. He laughs heartily as he almost falls off the side, but recovers himself, shoving me back with his shoulder. Most of his face wears a look of lighthearted mischievousness, but there's something in his eyes that makes me shiver. I look down at myself through the covers and tentatively ask,

"My clothes… did…"

"I undress you? What would you say if I told you I did?" A smile is still lingering on his lips, but the look in his eyes is deepening. I'm still as a statue and my lips are made of stone, unable to move. I'm sure I look like a beet at this point. Normally this is when my eyes would fall to the floor with embarrassment, but for some reason, my gaze is fixed on his, carved into place like my lips.

"Relax, kid. Izzy stripped you of your gear before tucking you in like wee sleeping babe." I roll my eyes as he says this.  _Kid? Babe? What, does he think I'm 8?_ "They were pretty gross, but you were out like the dead, so we didn't want to wake you. Figured you needed the rest."

"Oh."  _We?_ The tension dissipates slightly, but the thought of Isabelle removing my clothes and stuff doesn't completely put me at ease. I don't really know her very well at all, and I've never been comfortable even changing in front of the other girls in the locker rooms at school. If I had more friends, I feel like I'd be labeled 'the prude', but I don't really care. I don't feel the need to parade my body around as though I'm a piece of meat for guys to bid on. Plus, the fact that I look like a 13-year-old boy doesn't really help my self-esteem in that department.

"Well, get out." I make a shooing motion with my hand. "I need to rinse off real quick before we start." He doesn't budge.

"No," is all he says. I gape at him in disbelief.

" _What?"_

"No. I can't trust you to actually be quick if I'm not here to keep you on track."

He sure seems to have gotten ridiculously comfortable with me fast. I'm not entirely certain how comfortable  _I_  am with that fact. I've never met someone as bold as he is and having him in my space like this all of the time, especially at what I deem as super inappropriate times, makes me squirm. Simon and I have slept in the same bed before, but I've known him for so many years that it's different. Plus I know it's not like that with him. We've gotten to this place where we can be totally open and relaxed around each other because we know there's nothing weird between us. With Jace… well, I really can't ever tell what he's thinking or what his intentions are. Man, I sound like a parent.  _'What are your intentions with my daughter - I mean, me - young man?'_

I mean, granted, I have a really hard time believing that someone who looks like Jace would ever be interested in someone who looks like me. He's probably just being incredibly cruel like always by saying suggestive stuff like that. Teasing me about the fact that he's totally out of my league. Trying to make me hope something happens just to shut me down. I'm well aware of his heart-breaker reputation, so I don't have difficulty believing that he gets off on tormenting girls by dangling himself like a carrot in front of them. That evil carrot you're always trying to eat, but can never reach.  _God, what a jerk._

"Ugh. You're such an overbearing asshole." Jace just lies back down, crossing his arms behind his head and looking at me with a subtle expression of triumph. "If Alec and Izzy didn't hate me so much, I'd ask them to train me instead of you. You have a way of making things far more unpleasant than they have to be."

"Alec and Izzy don't  _hate_ you, per se. You're just not exactly their favorite person."

"Well, gee, that sure makes me feel better," I interject.

"Eh, give 'em some time. If you keep doing what you did last night, I think you'll earn their respect in no time. They're just wary of you because you're a mundane who's suddenly invaded their lives. With this whole Valentine/Mortal cup business, our normal routines have been hijacked and they're creatures of habit."

"But that's not my fault," I insist defensively. "Valentine's been terrorizing the Shadowhunter community long before I even knew that Shadowhunters existed."

"I know, but emotions aren't based in reason, obviously. That's what makes them emotions."

I can see this conversation isn't going anywhere and I'm still in bed. I wish he'd leave.

"Well, if you won't leave, at least turn away or close your eyes or something when I get out of bed." He sighs deliberately loudly and says,

"If you insist, but it's seriously unnecessary."

"Not for me. I barely know you. I'm not going to walk around half-naked in front of you."

"Pity, though it's not like you have much to cover up." He turns his head away from me.

A surge of insulted rage flashes in my chest.  _Jesus, Jace!_ His insolence is truly unbelievable.

"God, Jace, do you always have to be such a dick?" I fling the covers off of me violently onto Jace's face as I storm out of bed. I grab my towel and head to the bathroom as he chuckles quietly, pushing the covers off of him again.

"Only to people I like."

I respond by slamming the door behind me. I lock the door just for good measure. I'm starting to really distrust and dislike him. If there had ever been a moment when I'd thought he wasn't that bad, when I'd actually considered anything with him, that moment had undoubtedly been brutally destroyed a thousand times over. I resolved to lock my bedroom door from now on and avoid interacting with him unless I had to, like for training or something. I desperately wracked my brain for ideas as to who could train me. Hodge seemed too frail to train with. I'd be afraid of hitting him. Plus grappling with him would be even more awkward than with Jace.

There's no way I could ever approach Alec. Regardless of what Jace said, I really think he hates my guts. I think he doesn't like the fact that I'm even here in the first place. I really have no idea why, what I could have possibly done to make him dislike me so much when he doesn't even know me.. Maybe I can get the courage up to ask him sometime. I don't want to keep living here if the majority of people can't stand to be around me.

And Isabelle… well, she may not hate me, but she certainly disdains me and I doubt she'd be as forgiving as Jace when training. I can see her sneering down at me, thinking how pathetic I am for not being stronger, faster, more agile, more knowledgeable. For not being an amazing Shadowhunter like her… Maybe that's judging her too harshly. I guess I don't know her that well, but I've always had crazy insecurity issues around girls, especially girls like her, so it's my default assumption. But it doesn't really matter what she actually is like; until I get to know her better, I just don't feel comfortable asking her to train me. So it seems like I'm stuck with Mr. Golden Sassface for now. Ugh.

I know I said I'd only rinse off quickly, but I feel disgusting, and when I step into the streaming hot water, my body instantly cries out in joy.  _Oh, man, it feels so good._ For a minute, I'm able to forget about the unpleasant interaction I just had with the angel-faced, demon-souled boy. Ok, so demon-souled is a bit harsh. Butthead-souled.

I've finished washing up and am now just standing under the water with my eyes closed, enjoying the relaxing sensation and the peacefulness of mind it brings, when I hear a sharp wrap on the door, followed by the door handle wriggling fruitlessly.

 _Ha!_ I jeer mentally.  _Can't torment me in here._  Jace irritatedly shouts through the wooden door.

"Get out already! I don't know what you think the word quick means, but I advise you to check the dictionary." I half groan, half sigh as I turn off the water and step out of the tub. After toweling off, I realize that I didn't bring my clothes into the bathroom.

 _Oh, crap._ I start to panic.

"Jace!" I call through the door. "I forgot my clothes out there. Leave the room for a sec while I get dressed. I promise I'll be-" I start to say the word quick, but roll my eyes and try to think of a different word lest he jibe at me again. "…really fast. Seriously."

"Just tell me where your clothes are. It'll be quicker this way," he calls back.

"What?! No way!" I think about him rooting through my underwear drawer in horror. I decide that him seeing me in just a towel is far better than that and throw the door open, stomping angrily into the room. His face isn't smiling jokingly as usual when he looks at me. Instead, oddly, he looks pleased. I don't allow myself to think too much about it, or get embarrassed, determined to throw him out of my room once and for all.

" _Get_.  _Out_." I hiss as I start shoving him toward the door. He makes it as difficult as possible, but I know he could make it impossible for me to move him if he wanted. He probably knows I'll never forgive him if he doesn't leave, though.

Just as we're at the door and I've opened it a third of the way, about to push him through the crack, he whirls on me and corners me against the wall, leaning over me with a serious expression. I gulp, alarm sounding through me. He has one hand against the wall as his other brushes the side of my face, neck, trails over my collarbone, and then settles on the place where the towel is tucked into itself. He's fumbling with it and I realize in terror that he's going to undo it. Just in time, I thrust him into the hall and slam the door, locking it behind him. As the click sounds, my towel drops to the ground.

* * *

The training room is often dimly lit, being in the attic. The attic smell has been replaced by the scent of sweat and exercise equipment. I think I prefer attic smell. As we headed upstairs from my room, I silently trudged behind Jace the whole way, fuming at how he'd behaved. He seemed not to notice or at least pretended not to. He causally chatted about what we were going to do today, and I kept imagining hurting him during training. I resolved to go as hard on him as possible in the hopes that somehow he'd slip up and I'd get a good whack in. It probably won't happen, but a girl can dream.

Like before, Jace forces me to shed my protective hoodie, and I reluctantly cooperate. This time, however, he takes his shirt off at the start, but now, I'm not so keen on feeling the feelings it stirs within me.

As we're training, I try to pretend he's someone else. I imagine it's Simon training me, though it's hard to think of Simon being so skilled and knowledgeable in these areas. I try to get absorbed in what we're doing and not the fact that his bare chest is brushing on my skin from time to time. I'm thankful that when he's training, his usual impudence seems to disappear and he is wholly focused on what he's teaching me. I'm able to let go and get lost in the workout.

The strengthening exercises suck 'cause they're hard and I feel like I'm using muscles I didn't even know I had. I'm just glad they're not the same ones I used yesterday. The agility and speed drills are also really tough for me, but I love the sparring moves he shows me. I love the sensation of my hands, arms, legs, and feet colliding with the training dummy. All of my pent up aggression, frustration, sadness, emotions and thoughts are being unloaded onto it.  _Poor dummy._

Despite the fact that my arms and legs in particular are now throbbing with pain, I feel much better than I have in a long while. Jace seems to notice this and grins knowingly,

"I think sparring is everyone's favorite part of training. Wait until I train you on how to use all of the different weapons. You're going to have a field day."

"Why can't we do that now?" I protest, really wanting to slice into something at the moment. I can see he's happy with my eagerness.

"You need a lot more practice in other areas first. This is only day two. We train our whole lives and usually it's a gradual process where we learn unarmed combat first, then we train with fake weapons, then learn how to wear gear while sparring with the fake weapons,  _then_  use real weapons while wearing gear. It's in part for safety, but we're also acquiring skills and knowledge that get layered on top of each other bit by bit. Unfortunately, you're having to not only learn it all at once, but apply it almost immediately after learning it, too. It's pretty dangerous and not a great idea, but we don't really have many other options, given circumstances."

I get it," I respond, but not without a hint of disappointment.

"Ready for more grappling?"  _No._

"Sure."

We're on the ground again. I'm struggling against him with all my might. He's upped the ante, adding some painful pressure point grabs.

"That's not fair!" I whine as my wrist is paralyzed in pain. "You haven't taught me that stuff yet." He simpers down at me as he leans in close and whispers,

"War isn't fair." I roll my eyes exasperatedly. "Besides, you need to learn how to escape these kinds of maneuvers before you learn how to employ them yourself."

"Okay, well, how do I escape them?"

"Wouldn't you like to know."  _What the hell, Jace._ He's obviously in some kind of mood today that I can't describe as a favorite of mine. His left knee is painfully pinning my wrist down as his right hand keeps my left arm against the floor in a state of near agony.

Unexpectedly, I feel his left hand gingerly placed on my hip, sliding upward.  _What on Earth is he doing?! This isn't training! Is it?_ My heart's rhythm has intensified dramatically, adding to the unpleasant sensations I'm already experiencing. His eyes are heavy-lidded, locked onto mine. I feel his fingertips slide under my tight shirt as he moves his hand up. I desperately try to stifle the gasp that erupts in my throat. I fail miserably. This seems to encourage him, which is definitely not what I was trying to do. There's this intense sensation in my chest now. It's like a tingling, or a tightening, I can't really describe it, but it's somewhere between unpleasant and not. I suddenly become aware of the fact that I'm holding my breath.

His face is moving towards mine incredibly slowly as his hand keeps slithering up the skin on my stomach, matching the pace of his head. I'm immobilized, unsure of what to do. A million thoughts are racing in the back of my brain, but there's this fuzzy static crackling in the forefront. I feel my body heat rise and the familiar feeling of an over-sensitivity in my skin returns, but this time it's not a bad feeling. Instead, it's like a yearning to be touched instead of the opposite. It's like this consciousness that only the sensation of skin on skin will satiate this burning in my flesh.

 _Could he be doing what I think he's doing?_   _Is he trying to…? Do I want him to…? Would he just be messing with me or using me if I did? Do I really care?_ I decide that in the moment, I really don't, and raise my chin and chest as if to signal him on. He gets the hint and crashes his lips onto mine, hand shooting up my side.  _Holy crap he moves fast._

He releases my hands, grabbing the sides of my torso, my shirt fully pushed up to my bra now, and rolls onto his back, pulling me on top of him.  _Oh man._ My hands plunge into his tangle of gold, cupping the base of his skull, forcing his lips to stay on mine. I'm straddling him, my short shorts riding up, his hands hungrily exploring my back.

Our kiss is crazy with passion, and I'm totally lost in it. There was no preamble, no prelude to it. It didn't start as a chaste pressing of closed lips against each other. It didn't develop slowly, gradually deepening as our mouths parted one another, tongues beginning to dance coyly. We skipped straight ahead to tasting each other fully, urgently as if our lives depended on how much of each other we could get.

Jace's hands slip down to my hips and he pulls me upward as he raises his knees between me, pushing his pelvis into mine.  _Oh my God, I can feel him under me._ His hands move back up in a flash and his fingers are unclasping my bra. I start to come back to my senses, panic creeping through me. This is starting to move too quickly for me. I pull back, sitting up on top of him. His eyes are projecting full-blown lust at me, and it frightens me slightly. No one has ever looked at me like that, with such unveiled ardor, like they want me more than anything else and are ready to consume me.

Except for that silly peck Simon gave me when we were young, I've never even really been kissed, what to speak of anything like this. I don't think I'm ready. Especially with a guy I don't know very well and am not even sure I like or trust. His looks, his scent, his voice, his confidence, everything about him makes my body scream with desire, but that's not a good enough reason to give myself to someone for the first time. It should be special; it should be with someone I love. How can you love someone you just met not too long ago? Who treats you the way he treats me?

"What?" He growls at me. His voice is a mixture of lust and irritation.  _Irritation? As though I've done something wrong? As though I'm being unreasonable?_ I get brought out of my mindless frenzy and return to my senses. I'm looking at the beautiful but frightening boy beneath me, a boy who is sexually experienced, who takes whatever he wants, and then throws it away when he's done with it. I feel the panic in me increasing. I don't want to be just another girl. I don't want to let him do whatever he wants with me and then move on to someone else when he gets bored. I'm sure the fact that I'm not nearly as attractive as the kind of girls he could get and completely inexperienced won't keep him coming around for very long. I get off of him and make to stand. He grabs my arm.

"What are you doing?" He's sitting up and looking at me like he's angry.

"Get off of me!" I shake him off and get up. He's in front of me in a flash.

"Where are you going?" He demands.

"God, what's your problem, Jace?"

"What's  _my_ problem? Why did you get up so abruptly?"

"Because…"  _Because I'm afraid of you._

"Because what? You seemed to be enjoying yourself well enough," he says smugly.

"What's wrong with you?" I shout, eyes burning now. "You think you can just toy with people. Do whatever you want with them? You think that it's ok to treat people like this? It's not! You can't do this. It's just cruel."

"Treat people like what? Giving people what they want is cruel? I should think it's a rather kind thing, actually." I want to slap him. "And don't pretend I wasn't doing just that. You think I don't notice how your body flushes beneath my gaze? How your heart races when I'm near you? How your breath catches in your throat when I touch you? Don't try to lie to me, Clary. I know you want me. And you want me bad."

"Go to Hell, Jace. You don't know anything about me or what I want, so just stay away from me. I'll find someone else to train with." I turn from him and storm out of the room. His voice calls heatedly after me,

"Oh yeah? Like who? No one else  _wants_ to train you, Clary Fray. No one else even wants you here." My heart plummets into my stomach and the hot tears begin to pour out of my eyes. I couldn't even stop them if I wanted to.


	6. Pandemonium

**A/N:**  Sorry this chapter took so long guys. I was dragging my heels on it a bit and it didn't even end up covering all I wanted it to, but it's already longer than my other ones. As the story gets more serious, I have a feeling that the chapters might start getting longer. I also got a job, so that is causing me to have sliiiightly less time, but not too much less. But anyway, hope you guys like this one. Thanks again for being awesome. You guys are the best!

* * *

When I fling open the door to Simon's room, he nearly falls out of his chair in surprise. He's playing a PC game with his massive noise-cancelling Skullcandy headphones on so he hadn't even heard me come in the house, though I was by no means being quiet. In my upset state, I'd made a point to bang the doors open and slam them shut behind me.

"Jesus!" He cries in alarm, tearing his headphones off of his ears. I smile through my tears and can't help myself.

"No, it's just me. Is the resemblance also startling?" A ghost of a smile flashes across his face, but is quickly replaced by a frown of concern as he notices my red eyes and nose. I feel like Niagara Falls, but it's Simon, and he's seen me looking worse.

"Clary! What's wrong?!" He makes to rush toward me, but notices the computer screen out of the corner of his eye and falters. He'd forgotten to pause his game. He turns back to his keyboard, hunching over.

"Crap, I'm getting slaughtered!"

"Simon!"

"Sorry, just let me save real quick."

"Ugh." I stomp to his unmade bed and throw myself on top of it. I'm giving him a hard time because I'm upset, but I'm the same way when he lets me play.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry! Crucial point in the game. I'm right at the Gates of –"

"Simon." I glare at him, indignantly indicating how much I couldn't care less.

"Right. Right. Sorry." He plops down on the bed next to me and stretches his arm around my shoulders. I snuggle up against him, resting my head on his gray Iron Man hoodie and burst into tears again.

"Shhh. It's ok." He shushes me and rubs my back like a parent comforting a child who's skinned their knee. I just bury my face deeper into the worn-out cotton sweatshirt and sob harder. He pulls me into him and just lets me cry for a while. We've been best friends since we were little, so he's quite familiar with how to treat a crying girl.

_I'm sure he's a great boyfriend._ The thought makes me mildly jealous of the girls he's dated for a moment, which I dismiss as completely ridiculous. It's not like that between us at all. I guess it just made me think of Jace and how completely not relationship material he is. I bet he'd be a terrible boyfriend in every way, shape, and form. Except maybe in the bedroom…  _Man… that kiss…_  I start to burn from the memory and quickly stuff it back down inside.

As I start to calm down, Simon tentatively asks what's wrong and what happened. When I say nothing, he presses further, inquiring if it has anything to do with Jace. I redden and suddenly feel incredibly embarrassed.

"How did you know?" I feel like it's probably pretty obvious, but I ask anyway.

"You only get this upset over boys you like." I roll my eyes and groan quietly, my discomfiture doubling. Boy trouble just makes me sound so lame.

We typically avoid the subject of relationships, but I don't really have anyone else to talk to about this stuff. Plus, up until now, things had never gotten serious enough for me to get hurt by a guy this bad.

"He's just so mean. He can be so wonderful and then so awful. I can't stand it."

"What did he do now? Forget to say 'thank you' when you passed him the peas?" Simon's voice has a hint of irritation in it now. He's never liked Jace, and doesn't understand what girls see in him. That doesn't make any sense to me, personally. I feel like anyone with eyeballs would be under the golden Shadowhunter's spell, but I guess not. I mean, it's not like I asked to feel this way. In fact I tried pretty damn hard not to, but what can you do? The heart (or body in this case since I'm still not entirely sure anything else is involved right now) wants what it wants.

"He… kissed me…" I wince through my sniffles, expecting Simon to explode. He just sucks in his breath. My surprise at his reaction causes me to temporarily forget about my runny nose. Simon's not looking at me. He looks about as stiff as Church does when he's in a peevish mood.

"I see…" is all he says, continuing to stare at his screensaver. It's the old school maze one. A fun throwback to childhood, like most of Simon's room with his comic collection, collectible figurines, fantasy novels, and posters of his favorite bands and scifi movies & TV shows.

"And… did you kiss him back?" I turn my eyes to watch the maze now, too.

"Yes," I reply in a small voice. "But I stopped him…"

"Well, what's the problem then if you were okay with him kissing you in the first place? Sounds like you should be thrilled, not sad." He's not even trying to conceal the bitterness in his voice now. My eyes and mouth widen in disbelief.

_Did he really just say that?_ He's never said anything like that to me before. I mean, granted, I've never kissed anyone before, but still. Why should that matter to him? What does he care if I kiss someone else? He's kissed people, so why is it anything to him if I do, too? Maybe it's just because it's Jace, but even so. He doesn't have to be such a jerk about it.

I start getting angry. This isn't how best friends are supposed to treat each other. I'm obviously upset and in need of comfort and he acts like this?

"He tried to make me go further than I was okay with," I continue, my voice raising trying to impress upon him why this was a big deal and reason to be upset, not happy. "I didn't feel ready." This gets his attention and his head slews around to face mine.

"What?!" His eyes are wide with anger. He looks more upset than I feel now. "What do you mean? What did he try to make you do? I'm gonna kill him!" He looks about ready to charge out the door, but I put my hand on his arm to stay him.

"No, wait, it's not like that. I mean, he didn't do anything bad. He was just moving faster than I was comfortable with. He didn't try to force me to do anything I didn't want to, he was just angry when I stopped him."

"Jesus, what a prick. That's still not okay. Who does he think you are? His chew toy? Something plastic for him to sink his teeth into and discard when he gets bored of you?"

"Wow, Simon. Thanks a lot. That's not harsh or anything."

"You know what I mean. He's just such an asshole to everyone, strutting around like he owns the world, like everyone should grovel at his feet. Why would you even let him kiss you, Clary? He's bad news and you should stay away from him."

"I don't think that's entirely fair, Simon. He's not all that bad. I just think he's a little aggressive and isn't used to being told no."

"Well, he should get used to it. Getting rejected more often might help chip away at that ridiculously inflated ego of his. He's like that alien from Futurama." My mind conjures the image of the alien he's talking about and I shudder for a second. It was pretty gross and yet a mildly accurate description.

"But.. you don't think it's at all possible that maybe he just got carried away? That maybe he does really like me and didn't mean to do that?"

"Guys like Jace only want one thing and it's not to bring you wildflowers and chocolates shaped like Hello Kitty. That's what guys like me do."

"You sound like my mom. How do you know what Jace wants. You don't know him at all."

"Neither do  _you_ , Clary. Besides, if he didn't want that one thing, would he have gotten so handsy like that? And then proceed to get angry about you setting boundaries? He's just a scumbag guy who thinks he can shit all over everyone else because they're not Shadowhunters like him."

My cheeks are burning along with my eyes at this point. He was being so harsh, but I knew on some level he was right. I just wasn't sure I could keep having this conversation, though. I didn't come here for this reason. I came here for comfort and self-esteem boosting. Also cuddles. But Simon keeps bringing me back to reality, when I just want to forgive Jace and tell myself what I want to hear. That he isn't using me. That he does actually like me. That he just got caught up in the moment. But the more that I talk to Simon, the worse I start to feel about it all.

He's right. He's so right. Jace is just a complete and total asshole and I'm a fool to think that he could ever actually like a girl like me. He totally just wants to add another trophy to his collection, and Simon is right – he shouldn't be allowed to get away with that kind of behaviour. I don't care how attractive or impressive he is. Just because he's a complete and total badass in basically every way doesn't give him the right to treat everyone else as lesser to him. Even if maybe they are…  _Oh shut up, Clary. Don't think like that._  Jace is just another person. Granted he may be an amazing Shadowhunter who has way more of an important impact on the world than you or most other people alive, but still. He doesn't have to be a dick about it.

Though my sadness has mostly shifted to anger at this point, I'm still a bit miffed that my best friend didn't react how I wanted him to and take out some of my irritation on him. Unfair, I know, but hey, I'm still pretty upset right now, so sue me.

"God, Simon," I say with disdain. "Just because Jace is a dick, doesn't mean you have to be one as well. Besides, I'm a Shadowhunter, too. Or at least, will be one when I'm done with training, hopefully. But whatever. This is just making me feel worse, so I'm done talking about it. I'm sorry I disturbed you. Go back to your game. Forget I even said anything." I leap off the bed, grabbing my bag and storm out. He doesn't even try to stop me.  _Fine. If that's how he wants to be, I don't need him._

I'm so upset and angry now, that I think I'm a little out of my mind. I'm not thinking clearly and all I know is that I don't even want to be thinking at all. I've decided to do something reckless, something I've never done before.  _Here goes nothing._

* * *

"What?" Isabelle is blinking at me blankly in bewilderment. She looks as if I've barged into her room wearing a pink squid on my head and asked to borrow her banana phone.

"We're going out. To Pandemonium. And I need to borrow some clothes."

"Uh… o-okay…?" She's sitting at her vanity table, foundation brush in hand, hovering next to her cheek as frozen as the rest of her. The last, and only, time we've ever gotten dressed up and gone out together was for Magnus' party, but that was out of necessity. We've never hung out deliberately, let alone gone clubbing together. I think she's so flabbergasted by my sudden change of heart that she has no idea of what to do aside from go along with what I'm saying.

"What do you want to borrow?" The makeup brush is back on the vanity now with the rest of her scattered cosmetics, and she's walking toward her closet now. I follow her with a look of firm resolve on my face.

"The least ' _Clary'_  outfit you have." Her face suddenly breaks into a wide grin. She looks like a kid in a candy shop. Looks like I just made a wish of hers come true.

A couple of hours later, Izzy has finished transforming me into… well, definitely not me. When I turn to look at myself in the mirror, I don't recognize the person staring back at me.

"Perfect," I think, gazing at myself. Somehow, despite being so much shorter than her, we have the same shoe size so her 6-inch shimmering gold heels fit me well. They're going to take some getting used to since I never wear anything other than flats and sneakers usually, but I'm determined to keep my clumsiness to a minimum tonight if I can.

The dress she's put me in is not something I'd ever have called a dress in my normal state of mind. It fits me like a second skin, and the material's so light and thin, I'd almost think nothing were there if it didn't have a lacey texture to it. The dress comes down to just a few inches under my butt. I've never worn anything so short in my life.

Between the bottom of the dress and the heels, my pale legs are covered in a bronzing lotion that makes them glint in the light. I still look super white, but I now have a nice glow, which makes me look healthier and less vampire-like. The little black dress has thin halter straps that tie behind my neck, a plunging neckline that makes it seem like I have more cleavage than I do, and my entire back is exposed. The dress is literally staying on simply due to the fact that it's so damn tight.

The lacey dress is covered in subtle gold sparkles which go with the heels and clutch Izzy's lent me. The black and gold theme is continued in my makeup. Izzy did semi-smokey eyes but with bronze and gold, heavy black eyeliner with slight wings at the edges, and dark glimmering burgundy lipstick. She's contoured my face so it looks more angular and I look way older. My nails match my lipstick, my hair is done up in a messy updo, and I'm wearing huge glittering gold jewellery that matches. Rings, bracelets, necklaces, earrings, arm bands, hair pins, body jewels, the whole shebang. She's even strategically placed those colourful sparkly temporary tattoo things all over my body.  _Damn. I look hot!_  Izzy was definitely the right person to come to.

As she was dolling me up, we listened to the radio and chatted idly. She could sense I was really upset and offered me a drink from her stash. She has a mini-fridge in her room with some alcohol she pre-games with before she goes out partying. I typically don't drink. As in, I've never been drunk and the last time I had a taste of alcohol, I was 13 and Simon and I had decided to see what all the fuss was about. We had snuck into his mom's cabinet and grabbed her Manischewitz she uses for holidays and took a few swigs. We were pretty disgusted by it and decided that people were crazy for drinking. Silly kids. But at this point, I was just so tired of being me, Clary Fray, or Morgenstern or whoever I was, I didn't even know at this point. I was just tired of being in my life. I just desperately wanted to escape for a night. To be someone else and live someone else's life, so I decided to take a page out of Izzy's book and try to be like her, someone totally different from me.

I was pleasantly surprised at how not like Manischewitz hard cider tasted. The more I drank, the more relaxed I felt, the more my problems seemed to fade away and the happier and more energetic I became. Sure, it felt like the lights were dimming, my head was fogging, and things were kind of blurry and surreal, but it was nice, so I kept drinking. When I was totally done up, I told Izzy to take a picture because I wanted to remember tonight. She looked at me strangely, almost like she was afraid, but complied.

She, on the other hand, was ready in the blink of an eye, or at least that's what it felt to me. She looked gorgeous as usual, complimenting my black by wearing white. Her shoes were red and her jewellery and accents were silver. She reminded me of a candy cane or just Christmas in general.

"Ok, crazy lady. Are you ready to hit the town?" She's eyeing me with a smile that's clearly saying, ' _I can't believe we're doing this right now. I can't believe YOU'RE doing this right now.'_

"I am  _not_ crazy." I hiccup slightly, as my body sways pleasantly from side to side like I'm on a boat.  _Man, that's a weird sensation._  "Well, I mean, guys like crazy girls sometimes, right? Like wild and crazy? Those are like bad girls, right?"

Izzy's expression is somewhere between incredibly amused and,  _'Oh, you poor, poor girl."_ Clearly she thinks I'm just a sheltered child.  _I'll show her tonight!_

"Sure," is all she says as she smiles and pushes me gently toward the door. "Come on, you wild thing, you." We giggle together and set out on our journey.

* * *

Pandemonium looks different than I've ever seen it before. Usually it's got this darker gothy/industrial feel to it and the music it plays is kind of intense and fast-paced, but tonight it looks and sounds like any other modern dance club. I even recognize the music they're playing. It sounds like it's the latest pop and hip hop hits from the radio.  _What the dickens is going on?_

"Mundie Mondays," Isabelle explains in a deafening shout. It's loud in the club, but not so loud that my eardrum doesn't flinch as she yells into it.

"Weird!" I call back, but to be honest, I'm kind of relieved. The music they're playing is far better for the kind of dancing I'm in the mood to do tonight. Dirty. Where innocent little Clary Fray has gone, I have no idea. All I know is I want to let loose in a way I've never let myself do before.

I immediately hand my purse to Izzy as I make for the dance floor. She rolls her eyes at me, but says nothing as she takes the clutch and stuffs it into her larger red handbag. She indicates that she's going to go to the bar, and I just nod at her, already moving my hips and raising my hands to the sultry melody playing.

I notice that people are watching me. This normally would have totally freaked me out, but right now, I'm loving it. I look around, scanning the crowd of peering eyes for a _victim,_ as Jace Wayland had said. Who will be  _my_ toy? All of a sudden my eyes lock with a familiar pair of dark brown eyes, lined with thick long lashes.

"Clary?!" Simon's elbowing his way through the ogling crowd of guys that has circled me, his face in such a state of stupefaction that you'd have thought I had just grown a third arm from my navel before his eyes. "I almost didn't recognize you. What on Earth are you wearing? What happened to you? Is this Izzy's doing?"

"Shhhh Simonnnn. Dance with me!" I grab his shirt and pull him toward me. In our clumsy states, we bang into each other, but I don't care and just proceed to wrap my arms around his neck. He just stands there, continuing to gape at me like he can't believe his eyes.

"Simon!" I whine, placing his limply hanging arms around my waist. My shoulders down to my lower back are totally exposed so his fingers are touching my bare skin as they clasp together around me. I press him close to me and start swaying, rocking my hips against his to try to make him dance with me. I can feel his heart and breath act in a way that reminds me of how mine act when I'm with Jace. I'm too out of it to fully make that connection, though, and just continue with my fun.

Simon's body is tensing against mine as I turn to spin, but as I turn around, I notice three familiar forms have now appeared next to Izzy at the bar, Jace being one of them. It looks like he's been hurriedly downing some amber-colored liquid and is pounding the bar to get the bartender's attention to give him some more. He looks peevish and irritated, but Alec, Magnus and Izzy seem to not be paying him any mind while they chat over him.

Jace's body movements look restless and agitated in a way I've never seen before. He's usually so calm and collected, his self-control eerie and unnerving. But this Jace…. He looks belligerent… like he's going to start a brawl at any minute. The bartender is continuing to ignore him, and Jace whirls in his seat to stand, perhaps about to stomp down to the other end of the bar to demand another drink, perhaps just giving up on the whole thing. As he stands, our eyes connect. His face goes blank and his eyes are transfixed on Simon and me. I smirk smugly to myself thinking about how much I'm going to have fun torturing him tonight _. It's payback time._

I turn up the heat with my dancing. Simon is silent as the dead and barely moving as I run my hands up and down his body, grinding up against him as I drop down low and slither back up again. I maintain eye contact with Jace tauntingly as I dance as sexily as I can with my best friend, hoping against hope that I'll make him jealous, if only just a bit. I turn back around and wrap my arms around Simon again, thrusting my hands into his thick dark hair. Simon's looking down at me with a stricken expression of distress and is still barely moving. I see him gulp thickly and just giggle to myself.  _Oh, silly Simon._

Next thing I know Jace is approaching me, looking like the king of the savannah, furious because one his servants has just disobeyed him. There's something that looks a little different about him. In place of his usual guarded control, there's something wild and emotional to his movements. His eyes are molten gold sparking into flames, his shoulders are hunched and shifting like a lion stalking its prey as he's pushing his way through the dancing silhouettes only briefly illuminated by strobe light flashing in the blue room. Everything looks like it's moving in slow motion, and the room's gone silent, though I can still feel the pounding of the music vibrating in the floor mixing with the pounding of my heart in my throat. Just seeing his eyes looking through me, his open black jacket swaying from side to side as he stalks over to me, his low gray v-neck tee exposing the marks on the top of his chest, makes me go crazy. His characteristic fitted black pants and menacing boots makes him look like he's going to break something. Maybe me.

_Bring it._ I raise my hands slowly in the air and bend my knees as I lower myself slowly, sensually down Simon's legs. I throw my hair back as I turn to face my dance partner again, but I immediately feel a hand on my shoulder. It slides down my arm, grabs my wrist and spins me around. I twirl and land squarely in Jace's strong arms. He's practically growling down at me. I feel like he's going to eat me alive. His hands have fallen to cup the back of my hips, and they pull me roughly to him. I stifle a gasp, determined to remain in control of the situation. I return his menacing stare challengingly, raising my chin slightly, jaw tight, face hard, to show him he's not intimidating me. He is, but I'm not going to let him know that.  _I'm going to wreck you, Jace Wayland. You're the one who is going to suffer this time._

My hands snake up his body and clasp around his neck. I start to rock my hips, swaying my body side to side, making sure I'm pressing against him. Our eyes are locked, our gazes fixed in a staring contest on crack. For once, I feel like my breath and heart aren't freaking out that much. I'm a little breathless and hot from dancing, but I feel more or less level, despite our proximity. I turn around slowly in his arms; his hands release enough to let me move, landing on the front of my hips. I slither down his body, my skirt rides up my legs as his hands slide up my sides. I let my legs straighten, staying bent over, and his hands grab my hips and slam me hard against his pelvis. I grind against him and start straightening back up, raising my arms up over my head again. I lean my back against his chest, arms resting on his shoulders as my hands tangle in his hair. His fingers are digging into my skin as he is pressing me harder and harder into him. I can feel his pants tightening under me. This time, the breath in my lungs rushes into my throat and the air burns in my neck and chest. It's a pleasantly painful sensation.

His face leans down as our heads rest against each other's and I feel his hot breath on my ear. He's swearing coarse obscenities that send tingling surges of crackling lightning shooting through my veins and arteries as if I've just injected a drug made of liquid fire into them. My head lulls back further and the sides of our foreheads slide against one another's with the sweat that's coating them. A gravelly moan rises in my throat, but the music is so loud I doubt he can hear it. Then again, maybe he can because his hands move up to my rib cage and pull me back again.

All of a sudden his teeth are on my right earlobe and my eyes slam shut, my mouth opening as my head falls further back. My arms are wrapped around his head as my back arches and one of his hands moves up my chest as the other snakes down my stomach, inching slowly further and further downward. My eyes shoot open and I suddenly break free of his hold, spinning around, grabbing his head and pulling it down to mine. Our mouths open instantly as our lips part for our tongues to crash into each other's like our bodies. He's clasped his hands under my bottom and lifted me up onto him, my legs wrapping around his waist, hands frantically grasping at handfuls of his damp mane of golden blond hair.

We're groaning into each other's mouths as we're kissing with a passion that feels so intense it might literally kill me right here and now. It's like we're on fire, burning alive; it hurts like hell, but I can't get enough of it. He's ever so slightly lifting my hips rhythmically, grinding me on him. I want to scream in my mixture of agonizing want and desperate fury. I pull his hair hard and I know it hurts him. I claw at his shoulders, sinking my nails into his flesh. I hear his loud groan of pain, but it doesn't sound like he minds it one bit.

The fury in me that's racing alongside my desire is starting to overcome it and I decide it's time to ruin him. I bite his lip hard enough to draw blood and he drops me in surprise, hand flying to his lip. The look in my eyes is raw with hate and menacing anger. My body, more than anything in the world, wants him to take me right here and now, but my mind and heart are seething at him and are ready to make him pay. I shove him hard away from me, and as he gawks down at me in confused shock, I slap him across the face with all of the force I can muster. His eyes widen even further in astonishment, and his hand moves from his lip to his cheek. I turn on my heels and leave him standing still as a statue in the middle of the dance floor, surrounded by heated lovers so absorbed in each other that they don't notice a thing. Their swaying movements are juxtaposed against his astounded immobility.

_Screw you, Jace Wayland. I hope that teaches you never to mess with me again._ I have a satisfied smirk on my face as I saunter over to where my friends are sitting at the bar. It seems Simon had joined Izzy after Jace and I started dancing, but Alec and Magnus have disappeared. I don't really care where they've gone, though. I'm too absorbed in the adrenaline rush I'm being drowned in.

"Let's go," I rasp in a voice much lower than my normal one.

"What?" Simon and Izzy had been immersed in a deep conversation it seemed and look reluctant to end it. He's barely looking at me.

"I'm done here," I explain.

"What do you mean  _'done here'_?" They're both furrowing their brows at me.

"I mean, I did what I came to do."

"Oh, and what's that exactly?" Isabelle's eyes narrow at me.

"Doesn't matter. Look, let's go already, yeah?"

Izzy and Simon look at each other with puzzled and slightly miffed expressions.

"Fine," they say in unison, not with a little irritation in their voices.

"I don't suppose you have another destination in mind that you'd like to stop at next?" Isabelle's not even trying to hide the annoyance in her voice now.

"I don't really care anymore. Let's just go back to the Institute unless you wanna go somewhere else." The adrenaline is wearing off and I'm starting to feel tired and slightly sad again.

"Well, I wouldn't mind staying." Isabelle mutters. "I didn't even get to dance."

"Oh, well, never mind then. You stay. Simon and I will go." I look at Simon expectantly, but he looks reluctant to leave Izzy's side. It seems like he's kind of upset with me, too.

"Simon? Are you coming?"

"Well… I kind of want to stay, too." He's apologetically looking at Izzy's toes.

" _What?!"_ Now, I'm the bemused and flabbergasted party. "You don't even like it here. Besides, why are you here in the first place?"

"I was looking for you. I texted you asking where you were, and Izzy responded saying you guys were here." Is he mad because of the dancing? I was just messing around. He knows that.

"Right, so you came looking for me, but now you don't want to come with me? Why did you even bother coming at all, then?" I can hear myself starting to sound kind of bitchy and decide it's better that I just leave. If Simon wants to stay and flirt with the Shadowhunter girl who will only break his heart, so be it. I'm done with flirting, hearts, and breaking. I just wanna go home and sleep now. Dealing with people can just be so exhausting sometimes.

Simon looks like he's going to say something, but I just grab my clutch from Izzy's handbag and turn to leave. A ways in front of me, I see Alec and Magnus escorting a rowdy Jace by the shoulders to the exit. I laugh inwardly, hoping he's as unhappy as he made me before.

_Rot in Hell, Jace Wayland. I never want to see your face again._ It's a mildly true sentiment, but I know it's not going to happen seeing as how we live in the same building for now, not to mention the whole Shadowhunter thing. Oh well, at least I can pretend like it might in the moment.

Suddenly I remember Luke's offer and my heart leaps at the thought of never having to go back to the Institute. Maybe I can just leave them all behind and get Luke to help me try to figure out how to get my mom back. He also used to be a Shadowhunter, so maybe he can help me in my Shadowhunter education, too.

I set out into the dark night, hyperaware of the fact that I'm really conspicuously dressed for walking alone in the city at night. I take off the jewelry and hairpins as I walk and put them into the clutch. Rubbing at my face to get some of the makeup off, I wait for the bus when suddenly it hits me. The glamor so mundanes can't see us. I pull my stele out of Izzy's clutch and conjure the image of the rune in my mind. With my eyes closed, I'm tracing the rune on my arm. Funny how that's almost easier than trying to mark myself while looking at this point. I open my eyes and see the Mark shine brilliantly.  _Wow,_  I think.  _It looks like a pretty powerful one_.

I test it out and walk down the street toward Luke's. It's not that far and if no one can see me, I feel safe enough to go on foot. I pass an alleyway and my heart rate instinctively increases. I notice a group of guys hanging out sketchily in the shadows. They look like your average thugs, but when one turns to look at me, or at least I think he's looking at me, I notice his eyes shining and two little fangs poking out over his bottom lip. I freeze for a moment, petrified. The vampire looks like he's sniffing the air. His friends start looking curiously at the street, too. It's impossible that they don't see me. The glamor only works on mundanes, but somehow, it's like they are looking through me. Their eyes seem to be searching everywhere but where I'm standing.  _Could it be…?_

I slowly start walking again, treading as softly as possible, keeping my eyes fixed on them, but they continue to not notice me. After I've passed the next building corner and the alley is totally out of sight, I break out into a run, my heels clicking loudly. My heart is beating like a drum and my mind is racing.  _Is it possible that somehow the rune works against vampires, too? Wouldn't someone have mentioned that? Weird. I'll have to ask Hodge about it when I'm_ …

My heart sinks as I remember Jace and how he'll probably be at the Institute any time I try to go by to see Hodge. I'll have to figure out a way to avoid him.  _Whatever, I don't want to think about it anymore._  I decide to push him out of my brain along with everything else for the rest of the evening and just focus on invisibly jogging down the street in Izzy's heels. I tell myself that it's a form of training to help make me more graceful and balanced and stuff and so far I'm doing pretty well, but before long, I start to wobble and worry about misstepping and breaking my ankle, so I slow to a walk again. Thankfully, the brief jog has helped clear my head and now I'm just counting the steps until I'm back in familiar surroundings. It's been so long since I've felt anywhere that resembles the concept of 'home' that I'm just contentedly meditating on the fact that I'll be back at Luke's soon. I resolve that I'm going to take it easy tomorrow. I feel like I deserve that at the very least.

* * *

 

I'm thankful that I still have the key to Luke's and that my bag of sleepover things is still in the spare room. I'm also glad he's not here right now, even if it's super late, so he doesn't see me dressed like this. I take a quick shower to wash off all of the sweat, glitter, and makeup on me. It helps me relax ever so slightly, but I still I need a cup of chamomile tea. Now in my PJs, snugly wrapped in blankets on the bed, I'm sipping tea, my spare sketchpad and pencil on my lap.

I'm looking at the blank page I have in front of me, but nothing's coming. With a sigh, I put the pad on the nightstand, resting my mug on top of it. I let my eyes close and just lie on the bed, glad to be here. Sleepiness is starting to take hold, so I decide to call it a night. I reach for my mug, but can't find it. My eyes open and I turn to look at the nightstand. The cup is gone. Completely gone. The sketchpad is there, but the cup isn't on top of it anymore.

A feeling of panic surges in me.  _Am I so tired that I'm starting to hallucinate?_  I grab the sketchbook frantically as though thinking it would somehow give me a clue as to what happened. What I see shocks me so much that I drop the pad on my lap and just gawk down at it. My mug is  _in_  the page, staring up at me as though I'd painted it from a top view.  _What the hell is happening now?_

* * *

**A/N:** Reviews = love,  & I love you!

Leave me some sweet lovin', 

-Jax <3


	7. Did I Just Say Sparkly Warlock?

**A/N** : So, this chapter was like the funnest thing to write evarrrr. Seriously. I had a ball. I hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Also, FYI, I posted an alternate ending to the scene at the club last chapter. It involves le smut hehe. You'll see it on my profile if you wanna check it out. It's called "Pandemonium in the Alleyway."

* * *

"God, does he ever shut up?" Magnus says incredulously as he shuts the door to his apartment behind Alec who had just shoved a stumbling Jace though it. Jace, however, is totally unfazed and continues his angry rant about how terrible mundane music is and how they should never have gone to Pandemonium on a Monday night and so on and so forth, not even bothering to check if anyone is even listening.

"Not usually." Alec strides over to the nearest couch and plops down on it, clearly exhausted. "It gets worse when he's been drinking, too. Instead of just storming off to beat things angrily, he starts venting while beating things angrily."

Magnus strolls over to Alec and sits next to him gracefully. "Should I give him something to eat? At least it'll keep his mouth occupied for a bit."

"Not likely." Alec frowns. "He's not big on food. Or manners."

Magnus wrinkles his nose in disgust as if the thought of someone talking with their mouth full is so distasteful to him, his delicate sensibilities would be offended.

"Hmm. Let's give him some fairy juice then."

"What?"

"You heard me." Magnus smirks roguishly at Alec, who shifts his weight uncomfortably on the red sofa.

"I dunno…"

"Oh come on. He's pretty sloshed already so combined with the fairy magic he won't remember a thing. Tell me you haven't always wanted to mess with Jace."

Alec's face slowly breaks into a grin. "Well, alright. As long as you swear he won't remember."

Magnus has a devilish twinkle in his eye that makes Alec blush as he leans forward and whispers into his ear. "Have I ever led you astray before?"

Alec gulps when Magnus pulls back, winks at him, sparkling gold lips still pursed in a smirk and saunters toward his mini-bar.

Jace has now whipped out the shortsword that he insisted on bringing with him to the club and is readying to attack the coatrack by the door, yelling obscenities at it. From what he's shouting, you'd think the coatrack had slept with his mother and then called her a whore.

"Yellow-bellied weasel! Fight me like a man!" He charges at it, brandishing his sword about menacingly. Alec tackles him in the nick of time. The sword flies through the air and lands a few paces away with a clang as the boys crash to the floor. Jace proceeds to flail threateningly at Alec, turning his full fury on him.

"You want a piece of me, too, huh? Well, bring it, blue eyes! I'm ready for you!" His hand skids across the side of Alec's jaw with minimal force. Alec notes that if Jace had been sober, he probably wouldn't be standing anymore. The dark-haired boy wrestles his parabatai back to the ground, pinning him down with all of the strength he has. He's had a few drinks himself, but not nearly as many as Jace has had. As Alec meets Jace's glare with his own gaze, Jace's brow suddenly furrows with bemusement.

"Well. That's a clever glamour you've got there. Did Magnus help you with it? A false second head definitely makes things a bit more complicated." Alec's eyes widen in confusion until Jace wriggles his arm free since Alec's grip had slackened in surprise. Jace lands a solid punch on the air a few inches left of Alec's left ear and Alec realizes what Jace had meant. He's so drunk he's seeing double. Alec stifles a laugh.

"Damn. 50/50 shot, I guess," grumbles Jace in disappointment.

Alec releases Jace and jumps to his feet, backing away before Jace can attempt to attack him again. "Magnus!" Alec shouts, not taking his eyes off of Jace. "Come quick! He's feeling feisty!"

Immediately Magnus reappears with an ornate silver platter full of tiny shot glasses full of various brightly-colored liquids. Alec looks worriedly from Jace to the tray as if reconsidering the whole thing when his feet disappear from under him and he lands painfully on his rear. Jace's leg is outstretched next to him, and a smug look is plastered on his angular face.

Irritation quickly stamps out Alec's previous concern for his friend's wellbeing and he turns to look up at Magnus who is still holding the tray. "Hit him."

Magnus grins and blue sparks travel from his fingers to a glass filled with bright yellow liquid that has flakes of what looks like gold floating about in it. The sparks surround the glass, lifting it into the air and carrying it over to Jace. It hovers tauntingly in front of his face and succeeds in distracting him from his gloating. The golden-haired boy triumphantly plucks the glass out of the air before saying, "Finally. Someone who knows what's up. A proper man of action." He salutes the armchair next to Magnus and pounds the liquid gold.

When cleared of its last drop, the glass vanishes without a trace and so does Jace. Alec begins to frantically search for his friend when he hears amused chortling coming from above his head. When he looks up, he sees that Jace is against the ceiling, his back pressed to it as though he were laying down on it. Alec and Magnus's eyes meet and they both start to crack up as well.

The warlock had prepared shots of almost everything for all three of them, so within minutes, Alec and Magnus are crawling around on the ceiling with Jace. When the effects of the juice wear off, they move on to the second drink. It's a dark green that somewhat resembles sludge and it makes them all grimace as they down it. The terrible taste is quickly forgotten about, however, as they tear through the apartment chasing each other down in the form of mini-panthers, roughly the size of Yorkshire terriers. With each drink, they become more inebriated, but Magnus and Alec still mostly have their wits about them. Magnus comments on how impressed he is with how Jace can hold his liquor. Alec mentions that in all the time he's known Jace, he's never once seen him throw up or pass out from drinking.

"What about the slurring and swaying, though? Is that normal?"

"Eh, not really. He's had way more to drink tonight than in a really long time. Probably has something to do with Clary. I dunno if you caught that performance on the dance floor tonight but it was sure something. I wonder what's up with them."

Magnus smiles slyly and mutters, "I'm sure we'll find out soon enough."

"What?"

"Oh, nothing. Here. Drink." Magnus hands Alec and Jace two more shot glasses, these ones filled with a maroon liquid that has glowing pink swirls in it. "Bottoms up!"

The next moment, Magnus is staring at his own face where Jace was sitting a moment ago. He looks to where Alec was sitting and sees Jace. He snaps his fingers, but smacks his forehead when nothing happens.

"Right," he says in Alec's voice. He turns to face himself. "Jace."

Jace (Alec) looks at Magnus (Jace) and his face is puckered in an amused smile so unguarded and sincere that it's more startling to behold than Magnus's (Jace's) now totally plastered-looking face.

" _Jace_ ," repeats Alec (Magnus), finally garnering his attention. "Think of a mirror and snap your fingers."

Magnus (Jace) obliges and is promptly flattened by an enormous antique mirror, that Jace (Alec) recognizes as the one in Jace's room back at the institute.

"You could have thought of a smaller one, you know." Alec (Magnus) and Jace (Alec) laugh as Magnus (Jace) struggles under the mirror. After he succeeds in sitting back up, he scowls at Alec (Magnus), his features contorting in such a way that it's obvious Magnus's face never makes that expression.

Alec (Magnus) leans over and snatches the mirror with ease. He proceeds to admire Alec's features that are reflected back at him when he gazes into it with a look that exudes sexual confidence. Jace (Alec) looks so mortified and horror-stricken that he almost looks totally unlike the blond-haired Shadowhunter who never gets embarrassed.

"If I have your abilities, do you have Alec's?"

"I suppose so. Let's check it out."

Jace (Alec) sidles over to Alec (Magnus) and pulls Jace's stele out from his pocket. He begins to mark the warlock inhabiting his own body with an agility rune, which is applied without a hitch. Alec's (Magnus's) face looks down at the rune in amazement.

"Woah! That's my stele! I thought this was just a glamour, but I guess that would explain the power swap, too." Magnus (Jace) is pointing his long tanned fingers at the stele, but gets distracted by the golden nailpolish on his fingertips. "Gah!"

"It's an actual body swap. We don't just look like each other, we actually  _are_ each other. Feel for yourself." Alec (Magnus) simpers Shadowhunter-turned-warlock as if he's getting a kick out of watching his own body sway around drunkenly when Magnus (Jace) tentatively moves a hand to his hair only to encounter a forest full of sharp and glittering black spikes. He then slides his hand down over the many earrings covering his ears before proceeding to invasively rummage through the pockets of his multi-colored clothes.

Jace (Alec) has stretched his arms out before him and is running one of Jace's thin pianist hands flecked white with battle scars slowly from his wrist to his shoulder, taking in the sensation of his skin and muscles. His hand runs through the soft mane of tousled blond locks before moving down over his face, inspecting each inch of it. Finally, his hand drops to the tight black t-shirt he's wearing, feeling every sculpted part of Jace's chiseled torso.

When he becomes aware that his own face is grinning devilishly at him, he abruptly removes his hand, his face turning into a color somewhat reminiscent of red wine.

"Oh, don't worry. He's quite occupied at the moment, and won't notice at all. Go for it." They both look at Magnus (Jace) who is practicing floating objects towards him. He's getting the hang of it pretty rapidly, but on occasion, things move faster than he anticipates and whack him in the face.

Jace (Alec) looks back to find Alec (Magnus) pulling his jeans out a bit to peer down into them. Mortified, he lunges at him.

"Magnus! What in the name of the Angel do you think you're doing?!" He miscalculates in his tipsy state and ends up toppling over next to him instead of on him.

"What? Like you don't want to take a peak, too? Might be your only change…"

Jace (Alec) looks away for a second in bashful contemplation before shaking his head.

"God, Magnus, no! It would be… wrong…"

"Maybe we should take another shot and see if I change into Jace, that way you can enact all of your fantasies on me."

This time Jace (Alec) looks away, pained. Alec (Magnus) smiles sympathetically at the golden-eyed boy and leans forward, capturing his mouth with his own. Jace (Alec) looks taken aback and both he and Magnus (Jace) let out a cry of slight disgust and alarm.

"Hey! Those are my lips and I certainly didn't consent to that!" Magnus (Jace) has forgotten all about the tiny puppy he's just conjured and it bites him on the hand, recapturing his attention.

"Magnus!" exclaims Alec. "It's way too weird to kiss myself."

"Good thing the magic is about to wear off, then."

"How can you tell?" The next second, everyone is back to their own bodies. Magus snaps his fingers and the puppy disappears just as it had started running from Jace.

"Impressive," Jace comments.

"Alright. Final drink of the night." Magnus floats and opaque sparkling opal drink in front of his companions' faces and they all empty their glasses.

"Good, because it's getting late, and I don't think Jace can handle being awake too much longer." Alec speaks as though Jace is the only one who has been affected by the fairy juice, but his dropping eyelids and slight slur indicate otherwise.

"I… I… resemble that!" Jace stammers, as though he keeps forgetting what he was saying. He looks confused for a moment, but moves quickly past it. "Resent that? Whatever. Go on, Alec. I know you just want to get rid of me so you can smooch the sparkly warlock." Jace hiccups and his brow furrows as he realizes what he just said. Alec's face has paled in shock. Magnus half coughs, half laughs in disbelief.

"Did I just say sparkly warlock?"

Alec grasps for words, looking as though he's about to protest or deny what Jace just said, but all that comes out is, " _That's_ the part you're having trouble believing you said?!"

"Huh. I have no idea why I just said that."

"It's call Lie No More. Fairies use it when interrogating, but it's become a party favorite amongst Downworlders. It may cause a few brawls, but those are typically welcome at parties. It makes the imbiber speak their mind completely and respond honestly to any direct question they've been asked."

"Oh God." Alec looks like he's just swallowed a pufferfish, and Jace, while mildly concerned-looking a moment, gets distracted by a button that's come loose from one of his pant pockets.

" _Jace,"_ Alec presses. "Did you hear what he just said?"

"What? Oh yeah, truth-telling. No secrets. Very bad. Not good. Not… good… where the hell did that button just go!?"

As Jace starts scrambling around looking for the button that just popped off, an idea dawns upon Alec and he looks excitedly at Magnus who just nods knowingly back at him.

"I might need a little help here, 'cause I'm not exactly totally sober myself."

"You are still incredibly tightly wound for not being sober. I've got some non-magic liquor in the back to help you relax if you like. Perhaps after Jace goes to sleep?"

Alec's sheepishness returns and he brushes right past what Magnus said. "It's good if I keep my wits about me if I'm going to get anything out of Jace. He will murder me, though, if he finds out what I'm about to do. I reallllly hope you're right about his forgetting everything."

"Don't worry so much, Mr. Lightwood. You can trust me." Magnus winks. "By the way, is it true? What Jace said?"

Alec looks like he's dreading what is about to happen. "What do you mean?"

Magnus grins as he notices Alec nervously stalling. "You know what I mean. That you want to smooch me in all of my sparkly glory. Is that true?"

Alec's eyes are now the size of saucers and he can feel his heart jump into his throat as he tries to fight the fairy magic. "Yeee-aaa-ssss….."

"That's what I thought." Magnus is all smiles. "But you haven't made your feelings clear because of Jace, huh?"

"Ppp-aaa-rrr-ttt-lll-yyyy."

"You feel like you'd be betraying him somehow even though you've never told him how you feel about him either. But he is your first, and so far only, love, huh? I bet you haven't ever even been kissed, have you?"

"Nnnn…oooo…"

"Well, I hope you'll get over this whole Jace thing. It's preposterous anyway. Besides, I'd really like to give you your first kiss." Alec barely looks human at this point with his eyes so wide and his skin so red. He can't even form words at this point, so he's just sitting there gawking at the flirtatious warlock.

"What's this?" Jace has made his way across the room and is poking at a large fluffy ball on top of another fluffy ball. The top ball starts writhing around and emitting strange-sounding noises. Jace jumps back in alarm and sinks into a defensive posture, waiting for the fluff ball to attack. Magnus is suddenly on his feet and rushing over to Jace.

"You woke up Chairman Meow! Now he's going to be grumpy and pace around the house for the next hour before he can fall back asleep. He's very particular as all good familiars are." Magnus scoops up the cat and rocks him in his arms cooing at him like he's a little baby. Turning his attention irritatedly back at Jace he points at the couches and says, "You! There! Now!"

They march back to the couches and sit down, Chairman Meow snuggling up on his owner's lap. Magnus snaps his fingers and a plate of pomegranates cut into quarters appears on Jace's lap.

"There. That should entertain you." It does. Jace immediately starts meticulously peeling away the skins from the seeds and separating the seeds from the rest of the fruit. Magnus looks at Alec, jerking his chin at Jace as if to say, ' _Now's your change. Go on.'_

Alec nods in response and grabs a pomegranate quarter from the plate. Jace growls at him, but lets him take it. As Alec is casually peeling the fruit, he takes on a conversational tone and says,

"So… you and Clary sure have been spending a lot of time together lately."

"I've been training her." Jace doesn't look up, engrossed in his work.

"Yeah… I heard… How's that going?" Alec's trying his best to keep things casual.

"Fine, I guess. She's a fast learner, but I dunno… She's holding back something."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know. I just feel like she has a potential that she's unwilling to tap in. Something raw, primal, passionate. It reminds me of me. When I fight, I feel this surge of power coursing through my veins and I just let loose. It's like the only time I feel like I can really be me."

"Yeah, I get that. I think all Shadowhunters feel that to some extent, but I definitely see it in you more than others. I don't know about Clary, though. She seems so… reserved."

"She's afraid. I keep trying to push her, to get her to let go, but she's fighting me so hard."

"What is she afraid of?"

"Herself? What would happen if she stopped holding on so tight, trying to be in control. I don't know. She makes me insane."

"What do you mean? Why would she make you insane?" Alec shoots a sideways glance at Magnus whose attention is wholly occupied by stroking Chairman Meow.

Jace goes silent for a minute. "I don't know. She just does. She makes me feel things. Weird things. Things I've never felt before. I can't explain it, but it makes me do things that I wouldn't normally and it freaks me out. I've never been like this before and I just don't know what to do. The only thing I can think about is her, but I don't even get why."

Alec's face darkens as he asks his next question. "Do you…  _like_ her?"

Jace looks at Alec when he says this and with a sarcastic smile says, "Of course I like her. Why shouldn't I like her? You like her alright, don't you?"

"You know that's not what I meant. Are you interested in her… romantically _…?"_

"Did you really just say that?" Jace scoffs derisively. "What're we? Twelve year old girls? Besides, what does that even mean? 'Romantically.' If you're asking whether or not I want to bang her, sure, whatever, I can admit I think she's hot, but what's tripping me out is the fact that that's not all. Though we don't talk about it, and the only reason we're talking about it now is because of that stupid fairy juice, I know you and Izzy are well aware of my what my usual 'romantic' escapades are like. Hit it and quit it. Easy, mess-free, drama-free. That's how I like it. But with Clary… I just don't know. It's like I want more than that and I don't know how to handle that. I don't even know what the 'more' that I want is. So I just get frustrated and take it out on her, thinking that if I can just be with her, things will make sense and I'll understand what's going on."

Alec looks totally resigned at this point. Magnus has looked up at Alec and is watching him intently. "Well, have you told her that you feel this way?"

"Feel what way? That's the problem. I don't even know how I feel. I'm just pushing her and trying to take what I want from her on just the surface level, hoping it'll clear things up, but she's not willing to let me do it. In fact, she's been acting weird and uncalled for, especially tonight."

"Jace. I don't know what has happened between the two of you, but it sounds like you need to tell her that you like her. Well, I guess before that you need to figure out if you want to try to pursue a relationship with her, if you want more than to be physical with her."

Jace coughs as he swallows some seeds. "What?! A relationship? What does that mean?"

"Don't be thick, Jace. You know full well what a relationship is. Well, okay, maybe you don't, but you know that when two people like each other, they agree to be physically and emotionally intimate with only each other."

"Emotionally intimate? What's that like? Spilling our deepest darkest secrets?"

Alec rolls his eyes. "Maybe, but it just means trusting the other person with your heart… oh nevermind… you'll figure it out one day. Hopefully… Anyway, just… talk to her… tell her how you feel even if that means telling her that you don't know how you feel. Just say what you said to me just now."

"But why? None of it makes any sense and I'm not even saying anything really."

"Ugh. You're so bad at this, Jace. Just… do it. For her sake. Trust me on this one, it'll make your life easier. I promise."

Jace just shrugs as he pops the last of the seeds in his mouth. His eyelids are drooping and he puts the plate on the ground as he stretches out on the couch lazily. Alec looks at Magnus who nods and smiles reassuringly.

"Good job. I think at his current state of emotional maturity, that's probably the best you can get out of him. Hopefully he'll take your advice."

"But if he doesn't remember anything tomorrow, how can he?"

"Fairy magic is interesting. It can leave an impression of the night before or lingering wisps of thoughts from conversations, but in a ghostly way. It's possible that tomorrow he'll have thoughts that he has no idea were put there by anyone else."

"Huh. Interesting."

"Looks like he's passing out." Magnus stands and places Chairman Meow on the floor next to the couch. He extends his hand to Alec and says, "Here. There's something I want to show you. It's in my bedroom."

Alec flushes, but says nothing as he takes the warlock's hand with his own and follows him out of the room. The last thing he hears is Jace snoring and the last thing he sees is Magnus's face closing in on his as he's pressed against the handsome man's bedroom wall.

* * *

 **A/N** : Sorry if there was some confusion with the body swap stuff. I tried to make it as clear as possible while still allowing the mental image of what is happening to be as vivid as it could be. Let me know if you think I should change it somehow to make it easier to read, though. But come on, drunk Jace? Ehhh? Ehhhh? So freaking fun to write. Loved every minute of it. Also hope this cleared a bit up when it comes to Jace's past actions. He's just a trouble teenage boy having difficulties with his feels. Cut him some slack hehe. As always, reviews = love, so leave me some lovin'! You guys are the best! Muak!


	8. Lost & Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isabelle comforts Simon after Clary is a jerk to him.  
> Clary figures out where Jocelyn hid the Mortal Cup and talks to Hodge about it.

**A/N:**  Sorry about the delay. I got distracted by some other stuff, but I'm back on task now! I'm actually kinda excited because the next chapter is where the action is super gonna pick up, so stay tuned! :P

* * *

"Don't." Isabelle gently, but firmly places her pale hand on Simon's shoulder as he moves to follow Clary. She'd just stormed out of the club after grabbing her clutch from Isabelle, angry that Simon didn't want to leave with her. "After what she did, you don't owe her a thing. It was a total dick move."

"Yeah… I guess so." He's still staring at the door his best friend stomped furiously through. Isabelle's lips purse sympathetically.

"Hey. Look at me." He turns his head, surprised at the forcefulness of her tone. Her dark eyes melt his as they sparkle enticingly. She smells like a rich vanilla cream laced with a hint of sweet citrus, maybe even a citrusy floral scent like gardenias. Whatever it is, he can't quite put his finger on it, but it's seductive, intoxicating, comforting, and exhilarating all at once. Her painted lips shimmer invitingly at him when she leans in close. For a moment, he manages to forget all about Clary.

"She's a foolish girl who can't see what's right in front of her face. She doesn't know what she's missing." Izzy's thin hands cup Simon's tan face that's slowly beginning to redden and she rakes her fingers over his cheeks and jaw, letting her thumbs run over his lips tantalizingly. His expression is almost as stricken as it was when Clary was grinding on him, but since it's the incredibly flirtatious and forward Isabelle Lightwood, he's less surprised. It's more so that she's flirting so forwardly with  _him_ that he finds surprising. He always assumes she's just messing with him or doing it to irritate someone, but there's no one else around to make uncomfortable, and she definitely seems like she's being serious _. Is she actually…?_

The raven haired Shadowhunter downs the rest of her drink, stands, and offers Simon an outstretched palm for him to take. He finishes his drink as well and takes her hand in his. She wastes no time leading him to the dance floor. Simon can feel himself trembling a little with anxiety _._

 _First_   _Clary, now Isabelle? What a night. Veryyy unfamiliar territory for one Simon Lewis._

Simon's dancing repertoire mostly consists of joke moves largely based off movies filmed in the 60s and 80s. He can do "the twist" very well. Even moonwalk. He'd entertained Clary many a time with his Jackson impersonations, but he was by no means an amazing impersonator. Or dancer to begin with. Thus, the fact that there was a type of music that would not permit him to use any of the moves he's used over the course of his life, and the thought that Isabelle might start dancing like Clary had practically paralyzes him with fear. He's not sure he can handle more of that grinding stuff.

To his immense relief, Izzy places Simon's hands on her waist as she rests her forearms on his shoulders. She starts stepping side to side and Simon realizes that they're basically slow dancing like what kids did at school dances.  _Okay… Cool… I can do this... This isn't so bad…_

Isabelle smiles sweetly at him, which he finds odd since she typically looks so tough and menacing. She seems to have dropped her defenses at the moment, though, which is helping him to relax and really look at her for the first time. Although the lights are dim and flashing, she's beautiful. Not in her normal seductress kind of way, full of confidence and sensuality, but in a strong, capable woman who has internal strength as well as external. A woman who has fortitude of character and is truly beautiful on the inside as well as out. He can see that she's good and compassionate. That she's caring and dedicated. She's guarded and doesn't let people in easily, but she's also sweet and kind and loyal when she comes to trust you. She's a bit of a wild thing, but she  _loves,_ not just lusts. And she loves unconditionally with her whole heart.

Simon sucks in his breath, overwhelmed by Izzy for the billionth time, but in a totally different way this time. There's only ever been one girl Simon's found so breathtaking before, only one girl who has ever captivated and intimidated him so by her inner strength and beauty, and that one girl is Clary Fray, his best friend and the love of his life. But recently, things have been different. He can't help but notice that she hasn't been acting like herself.

He can hardly blame her what with finding out she's not who she thought she was, so she's probably going through some sort of identity crisis, plus everything with the cup, losing her mother, and now Jace… Freaking Jace… who is nothing but bad news. Simon can really understand why she might be acting out, but still… To take it out on him? He's only ever tried to be there for her time and time again… to be supportive… be anything and everything she wanted, even if it was killed him inside because he could never be what  _he_  wanted to be for her. But that's what you do when you love someone, right? Sacrifice what you want and how you feel to try to make them happy?

But tonight… tonight Clary made it abundantly clear how she feels about him. And this time the pain he's feeling isn't going to be so easy to ignore. Clary treated  _him_ , Simon, her alleged best friend, like  _her_  plaything. She used him to make Jace jealous with no regard for how that might make him feel. It was almost as if he'd just been some random stranger she'd plucked out of the crowd. If he hadn't have been there, that's probably what she would have done. Is that what he'd become to her? A random stranger to use when she wants and then discard when she's done? If so, maybe she's spending too much time around Jace, letting him influence her for the worse with how he treats others.

Though he'd tried getting over Clary so many times in the past, now, he didn't even care anymore. He decided that he didn't care how he felt about her, she didn't feel the same way, so why shouldn't he have a good time with a beautiful, smart, fun, powerful girl who seems to like him for him. Maybe she doesn't want anything more with him than just to have a little fun, but hell, he sure could use a little fun right now. He was tired of trying to bend over backward for someone who never even seemed to notice everything he did for her. He was tired of being the emotional support for someone who never reciprocated. He was tired of living his life for someone else, so he decided that maybe… maybe just for tonight… he'd live for himself…

Isabelle seemed to notice that Simon had made some decision as she felt his body relax under her arms. She smiled and pulled them closer together, resting her head on his shoulder. They relished the feeling of one another. As they rocked from side to side, squeezing each other tightly, the music began to pick up and their swaying movements increased in speed.

The DJ was very skilled because the song transitioned seamlessly into the next and soon, the dark-haired couple parted from each other, hands still clasped. Simon was a bit unsure about how to dance to the new beat, but Izzy helped him out by taking the lead. She seemed to sense that he'd never really danced before like this and was teaching him wordlessly. Before long, Simon had learned some basic moves and the two of them were dancing away, having a blast.

The next song was even louder and faster than the previous one and by this point, Simon was having so much fun and feeling so comfortable with the beautiful black-haired girl that he started to let loose and bust out some of his 80s moves. Izzy's giggle sounded like Christmas bells and she immediately joined him in his reenactment of the final Footloose dance scene. She'd never seen it, but she was a good sight-learner. By the end of the song, they were both panting from exertion due to the super aerobic 80s dancing.

Izzy led Simon off the floor and back to the bar asking him where he learned those moves. He confessed that they were from the 80s movie Footloose, which proceeded to spark a conversation about Footloose, 80s movies, and mundane movies in general.

"You've  _never_ seen Footloose?" Simon shouted over the music in surprise. He took a few large gulps from the water glass that had been set before him by the bartender. "That's unacceptable! What about The Breakfast Club? You've got to have seen that. It's a classic!" Isabelle just shakes her head with a smile as she sips on her water, poking the lemon wedge with a toothpick.

"Jeez. Ok, what about Star Wars. There's no way you haven't seen Star Wars. It's iconic.  _Everyone's_ seen it." When she says she hasn't, his jaw drops and he immediately stands, grabbing her by the wrist.

"Woah!" She grabs her purse from the bar as he starts dragging her toward the door. "Woah, woah, woah! Where are we going?" Simon whips around and grins at her.

"We're gonna go watch Star Wars."

* * *

I'm squinting my eyes as a bright light brings me back to consciousness.  _What is that?_  After blinking quite a few times, I start to make out my surroundings. I'm still in Luke's guest bedroom and the mid-morning sun is blazing urgently on my face. I squirm around and realize that my sketchbook and phone are still on me.  _Crap. I must have passed out... and slept all night… Dang._

The events of last night come crashing back down on me. I pick up the sketchbook and stare down at the drawing of my tea mug. I'm wracking my brain for an explanation, but none is coming. I'm tracing the outline lightly with my finger, and I swear I see the cup flash.A crazy idea enters my mind, but I figure everything else is so crazy right now, why not give it a go?

I set the intention in my mind, my heart racing, hoping against hope that this is going to work and I slip my hand inside the paper, closing my fingers around the mug's handle and pulling it back out of the page. My jaw drops and I can't believe my eyes.  _I did it! Wait, if I can do that… Is it possible?_

I leap off of the bed and dash into the hall shouting for Luke. I scramble about the house, flinging open the doors to all of the rooms, but he's nowhere to be found. His truck isn't outside and there are no signs that he even came home last night. I start to wonder where he might be, but the clanging in my head overpowers my thoughts and I grab my stuff quickly from the room before racing out of the house.

I recall the rune for speed that Jace drew on me the other night and Mark myself with it as well as the invisibility glamor rune. I want the least amount of distractions possible. As I'm running down the street, I pull out my phone to try to get ahold of Luke. Nothing. I try a few more times, but when he still doesn't answer, I just leave a message.  _Oh well. I know who I should go to with this first anyway._

* * *

"Hodge!" I breathe a sigh of relief when I see the smartly dressed man pouring over one of the ancient tomes in the library. I was really hoping I didn't have to search the entire Institute for him because I wasn't sure where else he might be other than here and the greenhouse. I still haven't explored much else of the huge building.

"Clary?" He looks up at me in surprise. I'm out of breath, and I'm sure I look totally wild-eyed from my excited anticipation. "What's the matter? Is something wrong?"

Through my pants I struggle to assuage his alarm. He's stood from the desk and is striding towards me now, looking thoroughly concerned.

"No! Nothing's wrong! Something's right, actually! For once!"

"What do you mean, Clary? What's happened?"

"I know where the Cup is, Hodge! I know where Cup is!" I've mostly recovered myself and am standing upright now, breathing still heavy, but with excitement. Hodge's eyes bore down into mine and he grabs me by the shoulders.

"What?! How? How did you find out? Where is it? Goodness, Clary, do you know what this means?!" I beam up at him.

"Yes! That we can find my mother!" Hodge is lost in thought for a moment, but gets brought back by what I said. He looks back down at me and his intense gaze softens.

"Yes. Yes, that's right, Clary. We can find your mother." He's let go of me and is turning away.

"And we can stop Valentine from getting it, of course."

"Yes, of course." He walks back toward the desk and I follow him.

"It's at Madame Dorothea's. In one of the tarot cards my mom painted for her."

"What?" He turns to look back at me with a puzzled look on his face. I don't think anyone told him about the tarot cards. Or possibly even Madame Dorothea. I wonder what he  _was_  told when I was passed out. I take a seat on the green armchair next to the desk, impatient to share what I know with him so we can formulate a plan to retrieve it immediately.

"See, there's this woman, Madame Dorothea, who lives downstairs from my mom and me, or at least where we used to live, and my mom had painted her a set of tarot cards. I later found out that she was a witch, or not a witch herself, but her mom was or something. Anyway, doesn't matter. The point is, in the tarot card deck, there's this card… the Ace of Cups, and the cup painted on it looks  _exactly_  like the Mortal Cup." I look at Hodge expectantly. He just stares back at me, equally expectantly.

"It's in the card! The Mortal Cup! The cup is  _actually_ the Cup!" I realize I'm not making any sense and sigh with frustration. I slam my sketchbook on the desk, causing Hodge to start slightly, and then take the round stone paperweight holding a few pages down and place it on the same page I'd put the mug in before. Hodge gasps quietly when the stone disappears into the paper. I slide my hand into the page and pull the weight out again, placing it back on the loose papers.

"Of course!" Hodge murmurs. "I should have guessed. Your mother had this ability as well. I've never seen anyone else ever do anything quite like it. The memory block Magnus put on you must also have been suppressing your abilities. Who knows what else you can do."

I hadn't really considered this before, but it rang true. The curiosity as to whether or not I had other talents that most Shadowhunters didn't began to eat away at me when Hodge said this. The fact that only my mom and I could do this and the fact that what I seemed to be able to do with runes was also unusual and even surprised Jace in a pretty profound way made this possibility seem pretty likely. A stern and urgent note in what Hodge's said next interrupted my curious speculations.

"It's good you came to me, Clary. We need to recover the Cup as soon as possible."

"Is anyone else here? I'm ready to gear up and go now."

"I'm afraid not." Hodge is back at the desk and rummaging through the drawers. "In fact, no one came home last night. Alec, Isabelle, and Jace are all still gone."

"What? Really?" I'm not sure how I feel about this news. Especially the fact that Jace didn't come back. Where could he have spent the night? What was he doing being out all night? Suddenly I realize that I hadn't given an explanation why I hadn't come back and felt a little guilty. "I went to Luke's last night. It turns out everything he told Valentine's men was a lie to protect me. He explained a lot about the background of the Circle and… he told me that Valentine was my father… and that I had a brother that he killed…"

Hodge is silent, looking unsure as to what he should say. He's stopped rooting through the desk drawers and straightens up with something clutched in his hand. I can't quite tell what it is, but it sort of looks like a crinkled piece of paper. His eyes are sympathetic, but slightly distant as if he's still thinking about something else.

"I'm so sorry, Clary, that you had to hear about everything like that. I know that this must all be so very difficult for you, and I want you to know that I will do everything in my power to help make things right. So, let's see what we can do about retrieving the cup, shall we?"

There's a warmth in his voice that makes me feel like he's sincere, genuine, like I can trust him. Yet there's something in his eyes, the movement of his body, his arms seem to be twitching jerkily ever so slightly. I dismiss the latter as my imagination. I'm probably still just zonked from everything. I need to get a proper night's sleep where I don't just pass out on accident at some point. I feel like the sleep quality isn't as good when it's unplanned.

I nod my head, trying to communicate my gratitude to him for helping me with my eyes. We decide that I should gear up and head over on my own first, making sure to keep checking in with Hodge and continuing to try to get ahold of Luke on my phone to let him know what I'm doing. Hodge will attempt to contact Alec, Jace, and Isabelle via phone and fire messages and give them the address of where to meet me at, filling them in on the plan.

After I'm geared up, Hodge draws some extra protective runes on me and repeatedly warns me to be careful. He gives me a senser and tells me that if  _ANY_  demonic activity is picked up, that I'm not to enter the building until someone shows up. I'm to conceal myself and keep watch. A voice in the back of my head is saying something along the lines of ' _fat chance'_  but I try to stamp it out.  _Careful. Cautious. Not stupid or impulsive. Not rash or reckless. Safe and smart is the Shadowhunter way._

As I turn to exit the library a final time, I see Hodge looking after me with a concerned expression. He looks tired, so tired, and sad. I bet he's sad that he can't leave the Institute and help out more. I feel a tremendous about of pity for him. I'd hate being caged like that. I'd feel so helpless and trapped. I'm sure that's how he feels, too. I hope he knows how appreciative I am of him just being there for me, though. As the door is closing behind me, I see him turn to Hugo who has landed on the chair by the desk. It looks like he's attaching a note to the bird's leg.

_That's funny. I thought he said he was going to try to reach them by fire message. Oh well. I'm sure he knows what he's doing._


	9. Inner Truths & Outer Lies

**A/N:**  So, I've been rereading my chapters and realizing that I totally need a beta. If anyone would like to volunteer for the position, that'd be rad. Otherwise it'll be slow-going as I edit everything live. I apologize for all of the mistakes that abound as it is and will try to get to correcting them as soon as possible. I just post stuff as soon as I finish writing it to get it up stat 'cause it takes me so long. Things have been getting busy, but I'm hoping that I'll get some time to write & edit Thanksgiving week (:

* * *

"No!… Not the mangoes… The ducks… The ducks are eating my mangoes!" Jace cries out as he awakens from his fitful slumber. His hair and clothes are disheveled from thrashing around on the couch and his throat is hoarse from yelling nonsense in his sleep. "Wah! Hauh! Huh?" He sits up abruptly and whips his head around as he tries to bring his blurry surroundings into focus through his blinking squinted eyes.

"Oh, don't worry, Jace. Your mangoes are just fine." Alec snorts into his tea as Magnus sarcastically reassures Jace, plopping another perfectly rounded crispy golden-brown pancake onto the blue-eyed Shadowhunter's plate.

"What?" Jace's bemused face searches around for the origin of the voices. He's startled to find them enjoying a pleasant breakfast at the cozy round dining table in the next room. The archway is large and he can see perfectly into the combined dining/kitchen area. Alec's hair is mussed and he's wearing a large white collared shirt that's wrinkled and un-tucked. Jace has never seen him look so casual before. Magnus, on the other hand, is still glittery and spiked, but wearing a long maroon dressing gown that has velvet designs of a lighter maroon on it and dark furry fringe on the borders. Jace hopes he at least has underwear on, too.

"Oh, nothing. Pancake?" Magnus turns to face Jace, who is shakily climbing off of the couch. He tilts the pan down with his oven-mitt covered hand, lifting a pancake slightly with the spatula in his other. If his appearance weren't so flamboyant, Jace might have sworn a 50s housewife were standing in front of him.

"Uh… no… thanks…" Jace rubs his head. He can feel the onset of a hangover creeping up. He scouts around the messy living room for his stuff and after he's collected everything, ambles over to the table. He grabs a banana from the fruit bowl in the center of the table and begins to peel it slowly. "So… last night, huh?"

Alec raises his gaze from his now half-eaten flapjack and nervously eyes Magnus. The tall warlock seems not to notice and returns to the kitchen. When neither of them says anything, Jace continues.

"Do… either of you remember anything?" Jace munches tensely on the banana. Alec's pancake now rests totally forgotten on his plate and he's intently gazing at the back of Magnus's head.

"Oh, not much. Just bits and pieces. Was quite a night, though. Fairy juice. What a kick, huh? What do you remember?" Magnus casually rejoins them at the table with a few glasses of orange juice, still playing hostess.

"Not much," Jace echoes. Alec has a feeling that Jace's lying, but hopes that if he pretends he isn't, it'll be true. "I think I remember being on the ceiling at one point, though." Alec lets the air he was holding in rush out in relief.

"Ha, yeah. That was crazy. You were drunker than I've ever seen you, but I'm sure the fairy juice had something to do with that. All in all, it was pretty fun, though. At least, I thought so." Alec's eyes meet Magnus's who winks surreptitiously at him. Alec goes faintly pink and a quick smile flashes across his lips.

"Yeah." Jace sniffs the juice suspiciously before taking a gulp of it, his banana peel splayed carelessly on the empty plate in front of him. "It was. Listen, I didn't do… or say anything…"

Alec cuts him off. "Nah, don't worry about it. You were fine. Nothing was out of the ordinary for the belligerently drunken Jace Wayland. Granted, with the juice, you were slightly more pleasant to be around than normal, so that was nice heh."

"Ha! Pleasant to be around. Definitely must have been wasted." Jace's trying to keep his tone light, but impressions from last night are swimming like ghostly shadows in his mind. "I think I can still feel a little of that fairy juice in me, so I'm gonna go try to walk it off. You guys do your thing without me. I dunno when I'll be back." Jace stands and chugs the rest of his juice before grabbing his jacket from the back of the chair and setting off towards the door at a brisk pace. Alec and Magnus look at each other suspiciously, but don't seem to mind the fact that they're about to be left alone together one bit.

* * *

Jace practically bounds down the sidewalks in his agitated state. Fragments of conversation with Alec from last night are seeping into his head, and he's using all of his attention to try to recall more. All he knows right now is that they were talking about Clary, which is causing him to panic slightly. Try as he might, he can't make out any of the specifics of the conversation. All that's coming to him is this tone of finality and resignation.  _But resignation to what?_

He's not even paying attention to where he's going and suddenly he looks up and finds he's outside of Taki's. Too bad he's not hungry. He loves their food more than anywhere else. He nods his head at the man standing outside the front door keeping watch who nods back. The fact that Jace's known by all of the staff makes him wonder if he goes there too often.

 _Clary._ His mind thinks back to training. Things were going well until he started getting overly bold. He hadn't meant to, he just lost control of himself. He knows that he behaved inappropriately, acted like a jerk, but he had been so caught up in the moment, he'd wanted her so much that it was painful when she pulled away. He couldn't have said that, though. But then what she did was even more cruel. He hadn't had the intention of teasing her, but that had obviously been her plan from the start.

 _Little Clary Fray._  He smiles in spite of himself. She really did look incredible. Hardly like herself. And he played into her hand just how she wanted. It was true, there was no way he could have resisted her when she looked like that, when she was throwing herself at him like that.  _After all_ ,  _I'm only human, right?_

_So what, I want her. Sure. That's been established. No problem. But why is she driving me nuts like this? Why can't I stop thinking about her? Is it because I can't have her? Because she won't let me? If I win her over, will things go back to how they were before? I'll lose interest in her and move on? But even if that is the case, the weirdest thing is that… I don't want that to happen…_

A realization strikes Jace like a thunderbolt mid-thought.  _I don't want that to happen._ His heart skips a beat in jubilation when he realizes he's finally figured out at least a part of how he is feeling.  _I don't want that to happen! I don't WANT to get over her. I don't want to stop wanting her!_

Jace breaks out into a run, laughing like a madman as he races toward the Institute, determined to find Clary and finally try to talk to her about everything. But his next thought makes him slow to a walk again.  _I don't want to stop wanting her? What does that even mean, though?_ Another fragment of the conversation from last night comes to him and he hears Alec's voice in his head.

'… _you need to figure out if you want to try to pursue a relationship with her…'_

Jace groans as his stomach does a flip, dread starting to pour into it from every direction. A relationship. Is that really what he wants? All his life, Jace had seen relationships as something that ties people down, something that inhibits a person's freedom. Not to mention the fact that the goal of a relationship is typically love and commitment, two things he didn't believe in unless they were in relation to family, and even then, they were to be kept at a distance and monitored scrupulously.

' _Anyway, just… talk to her… tell her how you feel even if that means telling her that you don't know how you feel. Just say what you said to me just now.'_

_Maybe Alec's right. Maybe I should just tell Clary everything… how I feel about love… why I'm so wary of it… how I feel about her… why I'm such a dick to her… I don't know. I hate this whole opening up to people thing, and I really hope that Alec doesn't remember last night at all since I barely do, but I hate to say it… he might be right…_

Before Jace can change his mind, charges toward the tall building looming in the distance, trying not to think about how the conversation with Clary might go, but instead focusing on his breathing as he runs, pretending like he's chasing a demon. And maybe he is… The demon of doubt.

* * *

I'm holding onto the subway pole ferociously texting Luke with my free hand.  _Where ARE you, Luke!?_ I'm not gonna lie, I'm freaking out a little bit. This is it. This is the moment I need him most. This is our chance to get the Cup and use it to find Mom. How, exactly, I'm not sure. Hodge and I didn't get that far in our plan, but I think it entails bargaining with Valentine: Mom for the Cup. Obviously, we won't actually give him the Cup, but we need to make him think we will. But we'll cross that bridge when we get there. First step is to get the Cup.

The subway is surprisingly empty, but I'm too anxious to sit. I'm loving the fact that I can now use the invisibility rune any time I go in public. It's so great to not have to deal with people. So far, I've only seen one or two people look at me when I'm glamoured, but I think that most werewolves and warlocks/witches keep to themselves. It's crazy to think that they look at me and see a Shadowhunter now. I still just see little old me when I look in the mirror. Maybe with more Marks and muscle, I'll start to see myself more for what I actually am. I giggle slightly at the thought. As if Marks and muscles are what makes someone a Nephilim.

Finally Luke responds to my texts. I almost forget to "mind the gap" when I exit the train. All he says in response to my numerous messages is, "On my way. Wait until I get there. Won't be long." I'm about to type, "ASLKJDFAKLJFASDF," but think better of it.

As I'm racing out of the station, I go over the plan in my mind.  _Get there. Use senser. If no demonic activity, use stele to look through wall. If no one there, use opening rune to unlock door and go inside._ It occurs to me that I'm going to have to figure out where Dorothea stores the cards. Maybe there's a detection or summoning rune? But no one has shown me that. I've never seen one before. I suddenly realize that I'm approaching the brownstone apartment building. Everything in between the subway station and now is just a blur _. I must have been totally absorbed in thought. Crazy._

Before I allow myself to get pulled back into what I was thinking, I pull out my stele and senser and get ready. When I'm outside the front steps of the building, I make sure to monitor the senser carefully.  _So far, so good._ I open the door and step inside. Everything looks good. I walk down the hall until I'm outside of Dorothea's door and wave the senser around. Still nothing. I take out my stele and put it to the door, peering around when the wood becomes transparent. There doesn't seem to be anybody home, so I decide to go it, despite Luke telling me to wait for him. Everything seems fine, and there's not a trace of demonic activity, so I'm sure it'll be okay. It'll be faster this way anyhow.

Before trying the opening rune, I turn the doorknob just in case. To my surprise, the door is open. So far, that's the first suspicious thing that's happened. I pocket my stele and senser once more and pull a dagger from my leg harness. One of my strongest areas in training so far has been knife throwing. It's super fun and makes me feel like a ninja. When my grip is tight around the handle, I fling the door open and run inside, poised in a defensive stance, wildly surveying the room for signs of life.

Everything seems to be how Dorothea always keeps it. Neat as a pin. Strangely enough, Dorothea's shoes are by the door and her slippers are gone.  _That must mean she's home._   _Oh crap! It didn't even occur to me that she might be here. That explains the door being unlocked. Wow. I just broke in! I need to leave before she finds me in here!_

I scramble back out the doorway and try to shut the door as quietly as possible before leaning my back against it, breathing heavily.  _Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. What kind of Shadowhunter are you, Clary Fray? Barging into someone's house like that? What is wrong with you?!_

When I've regained my composure, I re-sheathe my knife and knock loudly on the door. I wait for a few moments, but don't hear anything. I knock again, this time calling Dorothea's name.

"Madame Dorothea? It's Clary Fray. I was hoping I could talk to you again." I put my ear against the door and hear a muffled scuffling noise. "Dorothea?"

The door opens unexpectedly and I start to fall forward into the large form in front of me. I feel two hands steady me and I look up into the familiar face I was calling for. Dorothea looks a bit confused, but smiles slightly down at me.

"Clary. What a pleasant surprise. Come in." Her voice is somewhat flat, but she pulls me gently into her apartment and closes the door behind me, locking it. "Would you like a cup of tea?"

"Uh, no, thanks. Actually, I was hoping to look at the tarot cards my mom painted for you again, if you don't mind." I move into the apartment after the exotically dressed woman and my eyes dart from shelf to shelf, hoping to find them.

"Why, of course. I was actually just doing a daily reading in the living room. Follow me." Dorothea was being far more polite and cordial than usual, but her tone was distant and cold.  _What's wrong with her?_ I briefly wonder if she's alright before getting distracted by the cards spread on the low glass coffee table. I rush over to it and kneel beside it. I've almost grabbed the cards when I remember my manners and look to the woman standing over me. The forced smile returns to her lips and she nods down at me, signaling me to go ahead, her eyes intensely watching me. I feel my skin crawl for a moment, but remind myself that this is too important to let anything distract me.

I rifle through the cards, searching for the Cup. When I find it, I let out a cry of relief and carry it over to the nearby floral sofa. I sit and put the card on my lap staring down at it, trying to focus my attention the way I did before. I become aware that Dorothea has silently moved next to me on the couch. She's so close, I can feel her warm breath on me. I gulp, thoroughly ill at ease, feeling like something is wrong, but the senser said there wasn't any demonic activity, and that was definitely Dorothea. I push away my doubts one last time and dipped my fingers into the card.

I hear Dorothea suck in her breath as she watches my hand disappear into the picture and grasp the Cup. When I pull it out, we both stare at it in awe for a moment. It's gorgeous, resplendent, magnificent in its opulence, in the way that the light catches in the jewels that decorate it, the way the golden color sparkles with depth and dimension. I'm turning it around in my hand as we admire it, tracing the rim with my fingers.

"Clary…" Dorothea whispers. I'd almost forgotten she was there. "Clary, do you think I could hold it…" Her eyes are fixed on the cup and there's almost a hunger in them. I've never seen her look this way before. Despite what Luke told me about how Dorothea's been protecting my mom and me all of these years, there's something about her right now that just seems off. She's not acting like herself. Maybe I'm just being paranoid, but something is telling me to trust my instincts.

I start to inch backward on the couch uneasily, trying to think of some way out. "Uh, well, I told Hodge that I'd bring the Cup right back to him, so I think that I should really get going. The sooner we get this back, the sooner we can figure out how to get Mom back."

Dorothea's tone suddenly changes. "You think you're going to get your mother back just because you're in possession of the Mortal Cup? My dear, do you even know what the Cup does? What its powers are?" The guards I had already been tentatively erected just solidified. I move back so I'm almost against the arm, but Dorothea keeps sliding toward me, keeping the space between us even.

"Well, I think the plan is to use it as a bargaining chip. Offer it to Valentine in exchange for my mom. Of course we wouldn't give it to him for real, though." I start to slowly stand, keeping my hand on the sofa's arm. Dorothea mimics my movements, a cruel smile spreading over her lips. She throws her head back and cackles when we're both standing.

"Foolish child!" She shrieks and before I realize what she's doing, she's swiped the Cup out of my hands and sent me flying with just one hand. I crash into the China cabinet against the far wall and it rocks, sending porcelain plates and cups crashing through the glass and onto me. I throw my hands up just in time to avoid them breaking over my head, but they shatter one by one on the floor around me as they bounce off of my arms. A few particularly fragile glasses have broken on my arms, sending shards down my face, but aside from a few scratches from the stray glass, I'm fine. I get to my feet in time to find Dorothea walking toward a door on the other side of the room and shout after her.

"Wait!" She turns as I unsheathe my dagger again and chuck it at her wrist. It snags in the fabric of her long sleeve and pins her wrist to the wall. It must have grazed her skin, too, because she drops the Cup in surprise and I see blood staining the lacy white cloth. I don't waste any time and run towards her at full speed, launching myself off of the sofa arm and over its back for added distance. By the time I've landed next to the Cup and grasped it firmly in my hand, Dorothea's wrenched the dagger free from the wall and is advancing on me, clutching the knife threateningly in her uninjured hand. I roll over and push myself up to a seated position, struggling to get to my feet. She's so close that if I were to stand, she'd easily be able to cut me and steal back the Cup. I try to think of a way to stall.

"Why, Dorothea? Why are you doing this? What could you possibly want with the Cup? I thought my mom gave it to you to guard because she trusted you. I mean, I know that you didn't protect us for entirely altruistic reasons, but this doesn't make any sense."

"Stupid girl. Haven't you figured it out yet?" Dorothea reaches into her pocket and pulls out a glowing crystal. I'm not sure what it is, but can tell that it's definitely some kind of Downworlder magic, probably the kind of thing Magnus would use. My guess is confirmed when Dorothea shatters the crystal on the ground causing a swirl of colored smoke to swirl around her. I take the opportunity to get to my feet and try to back away further, when I stop in my tracks, my eyes wide with shock and fear. As the smoke disappears, Dorothea is no longer standing in front of me. Valentine is.

* * *

"Hodge!" Jace bursts through the doors to the Institute library. The old man jumps and proceeds to look cross at Jace's greeting.

"At this rate, those doors are going to need to be repaired any day now. Just because they were designed by Shadowhunters, doesn't mean we should treat them like training dummies."

"What on Earth are you on about, Hodge? Where's Clary? I've searched all over for her, but she's not here." Jace is striding towards Hodge, determination and concern plastered on his face.

"That's what I'm on about. Clary did basically the same thing not too long ago, granted it was for a very good reason." Hodge's expression softens. "Jace… she's found the Cup."

"She's what? Is that where she is? Did Izzy go with her?"

"No, Isabelle hasn't come home yet. In fact, neither has Alec. I was all alone last night, actually. I think it might be the first time that's ever happened, while you lot have been here."

"Hodge! Focus! Tell me where Clary went. Are you saying she went to get the Cup alone?"

"Yes, but it's alright. She's contacted Luke. The Cup is at the apartment building she and her mother lived at. It's with that woman… Madame Dorothea, I think she's called… So it should be fine, but nevertheless, I gave her a senser and told her to wait for Luke at the slightest sign of demonic activity. She brought weapons with her and I gave her a few protective Marks."

Jace can't believe his ears. He can't believe Clary would try to go retrieve the Cup without him. He can't believe that Hodge would let her go without him. Even with Luke there, they could need help. Downworlders are known to kill the occasional demon, but it's not their profession. It's not their life. They don't train since youth to kill demons. That's what Shadowhunters are for. Without even waiting for Hodge to say another word, Jace stormed out of the room to gather some weapons together and Mark himself up before going to chase after Clary. He tried to get ahold of Alec and Izzy, but neither of them were answering calls or texts. He figured he knew what Alec was up to, seeing as how he'd left him pretty cozy at Magnus's, but he was slightly worried about Izzy.  _Where could she be? Why didn't she come home? If she's not with Clary…?_

Isabelle is a Shadowhunter, however, and Clary… well, she's still getting there. Plus, she's just gone to retrieve the item that is most desired by the most dangerous person in the world right now. Odds are, Clary is in greater peril than Izzy.

_Oh, Clary, why did you have to go and do something like this? Especially right now when I was finally considering doing the whole talking about feelings thing. Isn't life just so ironic sometimes._

As he's charging out of the Institute, he can't stop imagining finding Clary dead in one way or another. There's a panic in his chest that is unfamiliar and makes him feel sick.  _Is this what love feels like?_  When he thinks back to his father's words,  _'To love is to destroy, to be loved is to be destroyed,'_  Jace wonders that if to love is to destroy, is it possible to destroy yourself, as well as others, by loving. Because that's how it feels. The fear and dread that's eating away at him makes him feel like he's being destroyed.

* * *

I'm staring at the enormous man in front of me in horror. His shoulders are broad, his eyes are black as coal and his hair is as pale as my ashen face. He's wearing a neat suit and aside from the hardness of his features and malice behind his eyes, he's quite handsome.

"Valentine!" I gasp.

"Very good!" He says in a mocking tone as he continues to advance on me. "You  _are_ a clever one, aren't you? Just like our dear Jocelyn. Seems like you take after her in more ways than one." He glances at my red hair. "You certainly don't seem to have any of me in you, hmm?"

I gulp, suddenly remembering what Luke had told me. Valentine, this man who is trying to kill me for the sake of a deranged ideal, is my father.

"Thank the Angel!" I spit with more confidence than I feel. I'm still backing away, my arms outstretched behind me, hoping to feel the wall or door, but they're both far away. Valentine's face contorts with distaste.

"Come now, Clary. Let's be civil. We are family after all."

"You're no family of mine! You  _killed_ my family! My brother, my grandparents, and now you've taken my mother, too! How dare you try to say you're anything to me!"

"Be quiet, you foolish girl! You know nothing!"

"I know everything! Luke told me-"

"Luke?" Valentine stops for a moment, looking contemplative. "You mean Lucian Graymark?"

I say nothing, but also stop for a moment, waiting for what he's going to say next. To my surprise, he just starts laughing. His laugh is as cold as his eyes and it chills me to the bone.

"Lucian… you believe a Downworlder's word over that of your own father?"

"Luke has been more of a father to me than you ever could be!"

"Ah, but then, why would he lie to you? A father wouldn't lie to his daughter after everything you've been through, would he? I would never lie to you, dear Clarissa."

"I don't believe you! He didn't lie to me. I mean, he did, but he told me the truth after. I know what you are. I know how you weave a web of lies that are convincing, and I won't be fooled!"

"Let me prove to you that  _I_ am the one who is telling the truth, not him. Your precious ' _Luke_ ' told you that I killed your brother, did he not?"

I nod, wary of falling prey to his powers. I slip my free hand into my pocket and clutch my stele tightly. I'm not sure what to do, but I'm hoping something comes to me.

"He  _lied._ Your brother is alive. In fact, you know him."

"What?" I breathe in disbelief, my grip tightening around the stele.

"Yes… you know him by a certain name… a nickname… His real name is Jonathan Christopher, but you know him… as Jace."

* * *

**A/N** : Remember, reviews = love (: Just comment on stuff you like, stuff you don't like, anything really. I just like to hear from you guys. Love y'all ^^


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